“Your issue is intimacy and you don’t get more intimate than growing a baby inside of you.”

Her words jolted me to my core.

I was pregnant.

I’d never planned on having children, I’d never seen them as part of my life.

I kind of felt about them the way I feel about cows: They’re cute, but I wouldn’t want one.

Then I met my pretend husband (‘pretend’ because we’re not married, just living in sin 😉 ), and the idea of having a child wasn’t so horrific.

I didn’t actually believe that I would be able to get pregnant as I had been so vocally against it for as long as I could remember, that I assumed my womb had a huge energetic “DO NOT ENTER” sign for babies – And I was fine with that.

But apparently not!

I was pregnant. And in shock.

My hormones were raging and I knew I needed some additional support, so I went to see my acupuncturist.

He was amazing but suggested that although he could rebalance my body, I needed to address the core of the issue.

I was suprised, I felt like I had addressed most issues in my life – I’d been into personal development since I was 16 years old, I was now 35 – so that was a looong time to get my stuff together (or so I thought, haha on me).

I’d read books, attended seminars, had used more healing modalities than I could name, and had been practicing kinesiology for over 15 years – I was pretty confident that I had my stuff in order.

But apparently not.

And let’s face it… there’s nothing like a major event, such as growing a child inside of you, to bring any unresolved stuff screaming to the surface.

I often joke that becoming pregnant sent me to therapy, but it’s kind of true.

The woman I was recommended to see was an energy healer and psychotherapist.

During one of my sessions with her, she asked if she could share something with me, ‘of course!’ I replied, I was always open to this kind of feedback, I loved looking for patterns within myself. Yet I wasn’t quite ready for her feedback.

“Your issue is intimacy and you don’t get more intimate than growing a baby inside of you.”

Immediately I thought to myself ‘what rubbish’.

I was very intimate.

I (thought) I knew myself really well, and I had a deeply loving relationship, how on earth did she think I had intimacy issues?

Then pieces of the puzzle came to mind as I remembered various events.

The most recent being when I nearly drove the car off the road and squealed ‘urghhh get it out of me that’s not normal!’ the first time I felt my baby kick me in the womb.

Then I remembered how I had avoided journaling for so long, only being able to call it the J word, as I didn’t want to become intimate with my deepest thoughts and feelings.

It started to dawn on me, that actually for a long time, it was hard for me to feel *in* my body.

As strange as that may sound, much of the time it felt like I was floating just outside of it.

Not really being connected.

I had been carrying around this Womb trauma and grief that made it too painful to show up fully, so instead I was disconnected from my body and my centre of power.

The Womb is the female centre of power.

(Just a note: when I use the word ‘Womb’, I’m referring to the Womb with a capital ‘W’, your Womb energy, this is the seat of your female power, and is not dependent on the presence of a physical womb)

When you’re disconnected from your Womb space, that energetic space, you also become disconnected from your own power.

When you’re disconnected from your own power one of the most damaging things that can happen is that you can lose your own sense of self, and quite literally forget the truth of who you really are.

You can lose touch with your own hopes, dreams and desires.

One of the main reasons that women become disconnected from their sense of power is that they are taught from a very young age that women are caregivers; loving, kind and nurturing. So it’s then expected that they should  put the needs of others before themselves. To do this women end up suppressing their own thoughts needs and desires until they become numb to them.

They can be so busy putting everyone else’s needs before their own, that they can forget what truly lights them up, and this can leave them feeling frustrated, empty and resentful, and not even know why.

If you think about your Womb space, it’s mainly an empty space that we don’t pay much attention to unless you’re pregnant or have your period.

And for that reason, I see many women using it like a ‘cupboard under the stairs’ or a spare drawer in the kitchen; a space where you put all the items that don’t really have any other place to go.

You have an emotion, you don’t know what to do with it, so it gets stuffed down into the Womb space.

Something happens, you don’t have time to process it, it gets stuffed down into your Womb space.

You have a shock or experience a trauma, it gets stuffed down into your Womb space so that you can continue with everyday life.

All  the ‘junk’ ends up in Womb space and the pelvic girdle.

It’s like a convenient space that’s really handy just to store things in until you know what to do with them, yet we often forget to go back and empty it.

So, the emotions and unprocessed events stay there festering…

And that’s exactly what I had been doing.

I’d been storing, and dare I say ‘hiding’ the remnants of these events in my ‘cupboard under the stairs’ Womb space, and there wasn’t enough room for all of it and my baby.

It was time for me to once and for all clear out the junk and make room for my baby, and reclaim ALL of my power.

The ironic thing was, that I’d ‘left’ my body as I thought it was safer for me. Yet when I released and healed what needed to be addressed and I came back into my body, I felt safer than I ever had before.

Avoiding the issues may have felt easier than facing them, but in fact addressing them left me feeling lighter, freer, happier and rooted in my own sense of self and connected to my seat of power.

I’d never felt so good.

I even came to love feeling my little one squirming around inside of me and practicing his acrobatics.

I came to love journalling, and journal most days!

And my already gorgeous relationship, became even more fulfilling.

I could show up fully for my self, my relationships, and for my child.

And I finally understood on a very physical level what it meant to stand in and own my power.

I felt clearer about what I wanted in life and how I wanted to contribute.

I completely trusted myself and my intuitive wisdom.

My Womb story had changed.

I had changed.

I was ready to create a life that supported my energy, values and feelings.

I was ready to become the SHEro of my own story…

If you’re ready to become the author of your own story too start here>>