Welcome back to 12-days of Magickal Self-Care.

Today, on day 5, I want to continue to focus on becoming present

Yesterday we looked at being present in your body using your senses, today we’re going to look at what it means to stay energetically present.

Your energetic health is essential

We often overlook the energetic aspect of us, but it’s essential.

People often talk about being in alignment, but think in terms of their actions aligning with their desire. But if it was that easy so many more people would be experiencing more of what they desire.

What they overlook is the energetic aspects of us. The part of us that stores memories and patterns. Because we can’t generally see it, it’s easier to ignore and yet you are influenced by it all the time.

We are energetic beings, we talk in terms of energy; I’m exhausted, burnt out and wired.

I cover this in more detail in my book Ditch the Doubt (available on Amazon), but here’s what you need to be aware of.

How your energy becomes confused ‘smog’

Every day, you’re in contact with people and the world.

You interact with family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances and neighbours. You scroll through social media, watch the news and learn what’s going on politically. Perhaps you’ll experience conflict, or have uncomfortable conversations with others. You may have arguments or disagreements.

Regardless, every time someone comes and ‘offloads’ all their angst on you, you take it on in your energetic system. The same thing happens when they share their fears and concerns or ask your advice, or when you witness or experience a trauma or tragedy.

Additionally, we’re all constantly surrounded by judgements, negative opinions, disempowering thoughts, media and advertising, movies, shows and social media. And of course, most of us own all kinds of devices that encourage us to scroll excessively.

External judgements, ‘should’s and expectations affect you

On top of all this, the world bombards us with messages about who we should be, what we should do, how we should spend our time and what we should achieve and accomplish.
Together, all of these interactions and experiences immerse us in an ‘energetic smog’ of other people’s thoughts, feelings, fears, judgements and opinions.

And that smog can make it impossible to clearly see what belongs to you and what belongs to other people. This, in turn, can leave you uncertain about what you really want, and what you are and aren’t comfortable doing to make it happen.

I’m sure you’ve experienced the feeling of having a great day until someone who isn’t comes along, and all they want to do is moan. Then, after they leave, you just feel drained.

Or you watch a film, and even though you know it’s just a story, you still find yourself crying or angry at the injustice one of the characters experiences. Many years ago, I watched Into the Wild, which had such a sad ending that I physically felt ‘off’ for hours after the film finished.

This happens because every time we interact with someone or something – even if it’s fictional – we exchange energy with it, creating an energetic connection.

Some of those connections are tiny, with very little emotional charge. Perhaps someone held the door open for you and you said, “Thank you.”

The creation of energetic data cables constantly influence you

The energetic ‘cord’ from this kind of exchange would be less than the thickness of a single hair, and would naturally dissolve as the day went on. You might not even remember it a couple of days later.

But some energetic connections are far more substantial, and create a higher emotional charge. For example, if you’ve had a major disagreement with someone, the energetic exchange and the resulting connection will be much more significant.

Think of these energetic cords as massive data cables that send and receive information between you and the person you’re connected to.

Now, this kind of cord can be a positive thing. If someone loves and supports you, you can receive that love and support through your connection with them. However, the opposite is also true: people can project their fears and judgements along the cord, and you can pick up on them.

Signs of a negative influence

Some of the things you might notice if you’re experiencing this kind of unsupportive energetic exchange include:

• doubting yourself
• making a decision and then changing your mind
• feeling like you’re taking three steps forwards and then stumbling two steps back

How to clear the overwhelm and confusion

Back when I first started my kinesiology training in 1999, the tutor recommended a particular Psychic Protection class. The teacher for that class described picking up on other people’s energy in this way:

“Imagine you’re a farmer who’s been out in the fields and mucking out the animals all day. When you come home in your muddy boots and dirty overalls, do you sit on the couch straight away? Of course not – that would be ridiculous! It would leave mud and muck all over your home, so it just doesn’t make sense. And your energetic health is the same way, except that you don’t see the mud.”

I wasn’t really into the idea of ‘psychic’ anything at the time, but I went along to the class anyway. And that training was probably some of the most valuable of my life because it started my interest in – and research into – energetic hygiene.

And gradually, as I learnt more about the topic, I became more aware of how other people interacted with my energy, and how I used my own energy with them. I grew more conscious about how I interacted with others, and started to take responsibility for how I showed up – not only in life, but in relationships too. I also learnt to take responsibility for my past decisions and actions, and take greater responsibility for my choices moving forward.

If I felt drained or depleted around certain people, I gradually learnt how to clear those feelings, and come back into my own energy. And with time, I even stopped allowing others to drain or deplete my energy. Instead, I began to quickly recognise that depletion was imminent, and ‘protect’ my energy by setting boundaries.

Prioritising your needs and self-care

Learning about energetic hygiene taught me to understand where my energy ended in the world, and where other people’s began. Whenever I noticed an intense emotion, I could quickly distinguish whether it was mine, or if I was picking it up from someone else or the collective energy around me.

And the techniques I learnt worked! Even after 20+ years of working energetically with thousands of clients, I never pick up anyone else’s ‘stuff’ now, much less keep it with me.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m highly intuitive, and have many ‘clairs’ (my word for a finely tuned sense that goes beyond the physical – think clairvoyance for clear-seeing, or clairaudience for clear-hearing). And I can still use my clairs appropriately when I want to.

But I always choose when, where and how I use these skills, which means they never overwhelm me.

Another part of avoiding overwhelm is routinely using the practice I’m about to share with you.  This practice will support you to make powerful choices, including ones that help you prioritise your needs and magickal self-care.

A practice to align your energy

Here’s a practice I want to share with you to keep your energy running smooth and clear.

It’s called the SACRED practice, and it helps you to get clear on what you want and need.

The SACRED framework

Taking a moment each morning to run through this practice will create a massive shift in your ability to make choices based on centred clarity, rather than fear and overwhelm.

You will understand the impact of your choices, including your own needs and self-care, on how you feel and connect with others throughout the day.

SACRED is an acronym (if you’ve been following me for a while you know I love an acronym!) for a six step process:

STRIP off all jewellery and crystals, and notice how your energy feels as it naturally flows through your body

ALIGN your energy by sending back anything that isn’t yours (picture a thread or cord, detaching from you and slithering back to whence it came) Come back to your centre and the present moment.

CONNECT to your Higher Self

ROOT into your miraculous body, here on our beautiful planet, imagine roots coming out of your feet and into the earth so you are grounded and present in the here and now

ENCIRCLE yourself with positive energy, a psychic boundary and protection

DECIDE what you want to experience in the coming day or week, and feel your energy drawing it towards you with powerful intentions and actions.

This is a beautiful way to start the day, and you will find every decision you’re faced with is easier to make now that your energy is clear and connected.

You can do this practice as often as you like, each time you do it you’ll become a little more connected to yourself and your own energy.

Don’t forget to come and let us know how you found the practice over in our community.

And I’ll see you tomorrow for day-6 where we’ll look at how you can add some practical, but magickal self-care to your established morning routine.

12-Days of Magickal Self-Care

Welcome back to 12-days of Magickal Self-Care.

On day 3, I want to focus on your home.

Yesterday we looked at how self-care is much more than just magazine worthy bubble baths and mani-pedi’s, as great as they can be, self-care is more about the daily things, often the small things like remembering to drink water or breathe deeply, that support your wellness on all levels of your being.

Today I want us to turn your attention to your home.

That may seem like an odd place to go next, but your home can make you feel safe. And if you want to create change and learn to prioritise yourself and your needs you need to feel safe enough to do that.

Feeling safe is essential if you want to experience real self-care

It’s essential that you feel safe.

Safe in your surroundings and safe in your body.

Many people don’t feel safe in their body.

This may stem from having an unhealthy relationship of view of their body. This can be caused by a society that encourages comparison, or it could be due to health issues, pain or trauma.

Many people punish themselves and their body – you can see this when people have an unhealthy relationship with food or exercise, either doing too much or too little of either.

The body can be painful

Let’s face it, the body can be a painful place to be.

Physical aches and pain. Unwanted attention. Not thinking you look the way you should to ‘fit in’ to today’s current beauty standards.

When you look in the mirror do you think kind words to yourself and recognise your beauty, or are you scathing and feel shame for not looking how you think you should. Or perhaps you can’t even bring yourself to look in the mirror.

Your body remembers. It keeps a record of everything you’ve experienced, heard and felt.

The body doesn’t lie

When I started my kinesiology practice, I would see many women who came to me with IBS, eczema and other similar issues.

They wanted to know what they were allergic to so that they could eliminate it from their diet.

But in the vast majority of cases, they weren’t allergic to a food, they were ‘allergic’ to the life they were living.

Once we got to the heart of the issue, it was clear that these women were unhappy with their lives. They were intelligent women. They had done everything that had been expected of them. They’d got their education and had successful careers. They had families and a lifestyle they were told that they should have.

So whilst on the outside they appeared successful by a societal standard. They weren’t happy and felt guilty and ashamed for wanting something different.

And not wanting to appear ungrateful they would continue to overcompensate by doing more of what other people wanted of them, further estranging themselves from their needs and desire.

Disconnected from their truth

Instead of feeling that they could voice their desire, or in some cases even knowing their desire, they supressed it. Resulting in the pent-up emotions and frustration, even in many cases anger, being expressed through explosive bowels and weeping skin.

It was more socially acceptable for them to have IBS or eczema than it was for them to say that they were unhappy and wanted change.

Disconnected from your body

When we don’t feel safe in our body, or feel that it’s working against us, we can disassociate from our body.

When we dissociate from our body, we give away our power and authority because we are no longer connected to our truth and inner knowing.

Unfortunately, many people benefit from you not being in your power. Not being in your power, makes it easier for you to doubt yourself and you become more susceptible advertising as you don’t feel good enough and when you don’t feel good enough you are less likely to make change in your life and the world around you.

The importance of presence

When we feel safe, we can be present.

Present in our body. Present to our own needs.

Being present is accepting all of yourself, not just the ‘pretty’ and socially acceptable parts of your body, life and experience.

It’s about accepting, even loving, all of yourself, even your troubled and unglamourous parts. Presence is the acceptance of your wholeness and not the rejection of the parts that no longer fit with who you want to be.

Wholeness is where you experience your power

And this wholeness is where your power is, and you access this power through being present.

Tomorrow we’ll talk more about the idea of being present and why that’s so important – especially from an energetic point of view.

But for you to be able to feel safe enough to feel present, we need to start by making your home a place where you can feel safe, or at least safer.

Practical magick

So, in my ever so practical style, let’s bring some magic to the mundane and talk cleaning.

Next time you clean any area of your home set the intention to create a safe and nurturing space.

When we clean we remove the old and make room for the new and for the magick to happen.

You may want to clean your entire house, or if that feels a bit overwhelming, choose to start with one room.

Where would you like to bring in the energy of safety and nourishment.

What room do you associate with safety and nourishment? Perhaps it’s the kitchen, bathroom or front room?

And as you clean, have the intention that as well as the normal physical space you’re clearing, that you’re also clearing away any old patterns that no longer serve you.

If you’re cleaning the cooker and oven, you could have the intention that you’re creating the space to receive a more nourishing relationship with yourself and the food eat.

If you’re clearing the bath or shower, you could imagine washing away any negative views of your body and replacing them with positive feelings and love towards yourself.

As you wipe down the mirrors, you can have the intention to see yourself in your wholeness and beauty.

As you clean, open your windows to let in some fresh air and put in your favourite music to uplift your energy.

Clean and declutter, knowing that you are doing so with greater intention and more magickal meaning.

You could also use this as an opportunity to get rid of things that surround you that no longer align with what you want in life. Repair or remove items that are broken. Donate or give giveaway things that you don’t like anymore – or at least put them somewhere you no longer have to see them.

And as a gentle reminder – just because someone gifted you something, you don’t have to keep it on display. You can still be grateful and put it away.

To add a little more magick to your cleaning, you could add some herbs or a few drops of essential oil to your water that you’re using for cleaning. You could use:

Basil for wealth

Mint for health

Lavender for peace

Lemon Balm for relationships

Rosemary for good luck

Always being mindful if using herbs and essential oils if you have pets or children.

Use this water to wipe down kitchen counters, mop the floors, clean your windows and mirrors etc.

Welcome in a new level of feeling safe

Once you’ve finished cleaning, welcome in your new energy of safety, presence and nourishment.

To do this pay particular attention to your doorstep or front door. This area is where you welcome new energies into your home and life.

Cinnamon is a good herb to sprinkle around these areas or you can use water with cinnamon in to wipe over these areas and charge with its properties of security and luck.

Another way to protect your home is to sprinkle a small amount of salt across your front doorstep or under a welcome mat outside.

This cleanses the energies that enter your home.

A final way that you can feel safer in your home is to check the smoke detectors and carbon dioxide detectors. And before you go to bed, double check that windows are shut, and doors are locked.

These may seem like small things to do and that you already do unconsciously. But when we bring our attention to them, we are reaffirming that we are safe, and we can drift off to a deeper, more restful sleep.

What will you choose to focus on today?

What can you clean, remove or check, so that you can affirm the energy of feeling safe in your home.

Don’t forget to come and let us know what you’re focusing on over in our community.

And I’ll see you tomorrow for day-4 where we’ll look at how you can build on this energy of feeling safe and extend it to feeling safe in your body so that you can be present to yourself and your needs.

12-Days of Magickal Self-Care

Welcome back to 12-days of Magickal Self-Care.

On day 2, I want to start by asking you: “what do you need?”

We often avoid asking ourselves this question because we’re afraid it will make us sound selfish, or self centred. The complete opposite of what the world teaches us to be.

We’re often praised for prioritising the needs of other people over our own needs.

Sometimes people have spent so long prioritising the needs of other people that they’ve actually forgotten what they themselves need.

So I’ll ask you again, what do you need in your life right now?

What do you need to bring yourself care and nourishment?

What is your body, mind and spirit really longing for?

Or are you like many of my clients, who have become so disconnected with themselves and their body, that they can no longer decipher the true needs?

What self-care is, really

Let’s start by breaking these patterns and look at the idea of self-care.

People often think about self-care as being mani-pedi’s, spa days, bubble baths and massages. Now of course these can be great, but we also need to go back to daily basics.

To me nourishing myself, and self-care goes right back to setting the foundations of my health and vitality…

Including, but not exclusive to:

• Breathing deeply, and using all of my lungs, not just my upper chest.
• Moving and stretching my body
• Staying hydrated
• Eating a wide range of unprocessed, and fresh, food
• Sleeping when I need to sleep – including afternoon naps
• Cuddling with my family
• Building healthy relationships
• Saying ‘no’
• Making time for ‘yes’
• Spending time in nature
• Being creative
• Reading my books
• Being alone
• Being around people

It would also include regular visits to my acupuncturist, but also going to the Dr’s if I was ill, or concerned about my health, and also regular health check up’s, including at the dentist and optician.

Self-care also looks like having those conversations you need to have, paying the bills, managing your time, energy and resources.

These lists may not be overly sexy, or magazine worthy, but when these are in place, I feel nourished, and I consider this sacred and magickal self-care.

The sacred is in the ordinary.

How would your life be different if…

You said a big resounding YES to yourself.

If you made yourself and your needs a priority?

If you gave yourself permission to put YOU first?

If you said YES to your interests, whims, fantasies, and desires?

Honouring your needs isn’t selfish

As cliched as it is you really do need to fill your own cup first. The flight attendants are correct when they say you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you look after other people.

You cannot give from an empty cup, so whilst it might feel selfish initially to put yourself first, think about how the quality of your relationships improves – including with yourself – when you give from a place of fullness rather than a place of emptiness, frustration and exhaustion.

Changing the pattern

You’d think it should be the most natural thing in the world to honour your needs, but how often do you ignore your intuition, or belittle your thoughts, feelings, and achievements?

How often do you base your decisions, and what you share with others, on the opinions of others, and what you think they might say to you?

Today I want you to focus on doing one of the following things to really start to strengthen your ability to honour yourself:

Listen to Your Intuition and Trust Your Instincts

Keep a note of all of the intuitive insights you have throughout the week, and any ‘gut instinct’ that you feel, and review them at the end of the day or the end of the week. What messages where they telling you, and were they accurate?

Befriend Yourself

How many times do you criticise yourself?

Each time you notice yourself being critical, rephrase your thoughts or words, to be positive about yourself.

Ask yourself if it’s really true, and think of all the times and ways your thought just isn’t true. For example, thinking: ‘you always get it wrong’ – is that really true? Have you never got anything right?

Of course you have, so start reminding yourself how these negative thoughts just aren’t true. Or at least contain it to facts.

‘You always get it wrong’ becomes ‘I made one mistake’, so now how can you rectify the mistake.

Allow Yourself to Receive

Make the conscious effort to allow people to appreciate you. If someone says, ‘Thank you’, or pays you a compliment, don’t shrug it off, or dismiss it, simply smile and say ‘Thank you’.

Ask people for small favours. If someone asks if you want a cup of tea, instead of ‘politely’ saying ‘No thank you’. Say ‘Thanks that would be great’.

If someone is going to the kitchen, ask if they could bring you back a glass of water.

Just start with small things and let your receiving muscles grow.

Say ‘Yes’ to Yourself

Everyday make time for yourself, even if it’s for a few minutes.

How can you honour your needs and desires each day, even if it’s just one thing?

Ask yourself every day ‘what do I need?

Think about something you can do for yourself and say ‘yes’ to it. Perhaps it’s to drink more water, connect with friends, go for a walk, dance to your favourite song, spend 5 minutes journaling, book that Dr’s appointment or pay that outstanding bill.

Celebrate Yourself

Each night, write down 10 things that you love and appreciate about you and your body. You can celebrate something that you’ve done well, or the way that you handled a situation, or simply appreciate your body for getting through another day.

Now of course we want to celebrate those people around us and show gratitude for support, circumstances and situations we find ourselves in. But just for a few minutes, give yourself permission to celebrate yourself and really allow yourself to receive that recognition.

What will you choose for yourself today?

Don’t forget to come and let us know what you’re focusing on over in our community.

And I’ll see you tomorrow for day-3 where we’ll look at what you can do in your home to support you to feel safe, so that you can build a self-care routine that does the same.

12-Days of Magickal Self-Care