Let’s face it, it can be hard to know what we really want.
I’ve had way too many women burst into tears when I’ve asked them that exact question.
“What do you want?”
Whether it’s life purpose questions, what they want to do at the weekend, or even what movie they want to watch.
They’re so used to prioritising the needs of others; children, partners, parents, co-workers, friends…. they’ve become disconnected from what they really want.
Their desires silenced under the noise of judgements, ‘should’s’, and expectations.
Not wanting to let other people down, wanting to be seen as a ‘good’ person, not wanting to be seen as selfish, the list goes on and on as to why people get disconnected from hearing their inner wisdom and desires.
The noise, overwhelm, and mixed messages that women receive can create inner turmoil and confusion. Be confident, but not too confident, be clever, but not too clever, be powerful, but not too powerful, be sexual, but not too sexual…
Playing small to keep other people comfortable. Not speaking up in case it upsets or offends someone. Not asking for what you need in case it inconveniences others.
So instead of trusting her inner desires, or hearing her inner wisdom, she can barely hear their messages. She gets busy contorting herself to meet other people’s expectations and desires.
As she gets busier, her inner voice gets quieter, until it’s a distant memory, a slight twinge of knowing that’s easy to ignore.
In quiet moments, she knows something doesn’t feel right, but rather than ask herself what she really needs, she doesn’t have time, and certainly doesn’t want to explore how much she’s betrayed herself and turned her back on her needs, instead, she takes on more responsibility and numbs the pain with her crutch of choice; scrolling through social media, gossip, shopping, food or ‘wine o’clock’.
Under this weight of expectations and judgements it can be hard to choose what you want, over what you feel you should do to fit in or please others.
There’s no doubt that sometimes it can feel easier to ignore that intuitive nudge, and that quiet inner knowing, rather than speak up or ‘rock the boat’.
It’s easy for the mind to become overwhelmed with information.
But it’s time to try something new.
A way that prioritises you and your needs.
Because from experience, we know the other way leads to frustration, resentment, overwhelm and burnout, and that’s no fun for anyone!
Instead, it’s time to start to reconnect with awe and wonder.
With opportunities and possibility.
Instead of trying to think your way through a situation, start to feel it.
Let the openness of curiosity lead you to where you want to be.
Place your hand over your heart and ask yourself:
“What do I want?”
Not what you think you should want, or what other people want for you, but what do you want?
Then ask yourself:
“What do I need to do today to be fulfilled?”
Ask yourself these questions everyday.
You may not have the answer immediately but keep asking.
Get quiet, ask the question, and become curious to the quiet whisper you hear.
Create the space for that whisper or quiet nudge to get louder, and louder, until you’re clear what voice is yours, and what voices are the external expectations and desires of other people.
This process is important as of course you’re asking a question to get an answer.
But it’s also important because you’re giving yourself a moment of sacred pause, a moment to turn inwards and actually ask yourself what you want and need.
You’re taking a moment to cut through the noise and listen to yourself.
A moment to connect with yourself to hear your inner wisdom.
A moment to help you make better choices, that are aligned with what you actually want and desire.
And if that fails, toss a coin.
Years ago, I was on a training and the teacher said that when she can’t decide what to do, she tosses a coin.
I was surprised, I didn’t have her down as someone who would leave decisions up to chance in such a way.
She then went on to explain…
She doesn’t ‘do’ what she assigned to the coin’s ‘heads’ or ‘tails’, but she uses it to watch her immediate response, her intuitive wisdom.
She might not initially know what she wants, but as soon as the coin ‘tells’ her what to do, she immediately feels relief at a ‘yes’ because that’s what she wants to do.
Or a resistance to the coin’s answer, in that case she knows that she wants the other option.
She used the coin to help her bypass her mind and get clear on what she really wanted.
If you want to cut out the noise and reconnect to your inner wisdom, so that you can make better choices in life click here to learn how>>