Break the SPELLs


During the ALIGNment stage of The ART of Being a Witch, we examined the importance of stories. especially your own personal stories.

Now we’re going to dive deeper, and look at how stories can act like SPELLs, enchanting us and casting their magic over us, so much so, we may not even know we’re even under their influence.

The Importance of Story

 Stories are so important to us as humans.

They help us to connect to each other, they give us hope, elicit empathy for others, they also teach us the values of our culture, what’s considered ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and even what’s expected of us.

It’s been said that’s it’s stories that make us human.

Stories have a really positive effect on us, but there is a villainous side to stories too.

Stories can act like SPELLs.

Enchanting us and casting their magic over us, so much so, we may not even know we’re even under their influence.

These can be societal SPELLs, family SPELLs, or cultural SPELLs.

The stories, habits, beliefs and behaviours that are considered ‘normal’ and expected of people, all act as SPELLs, enchanting us with the illusion of fitting in, or being a ‘good person’.

All of them cloaking you in their magic, changing the way that you see, experience and behave in the world.

The SPELLs are held in place by the filters you use, and these are based on your experiences so far in life.

SPELLs influence your values, beliefs, memories, language, personality and your decisions.

They can even affect what you believe to be true; just think how powerful marketing is, or the polarisation you see playing out on social media!

When you’re under a SPELL it can cause you to ‘delete’ and forget certain experiences and how they really impacted you.

They can distort how you view or recall events.

They can cause you to generalise and see things as ‘this’ or ‘that’, ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, rather than the nuances that are in reality are true.

In this course we’re going to Break the SPELLs so that you can re-write your own story based on your own values and beliefs, rather than being at the mercy of the expectations of others.

Break the SPELLs


Once upon a time. As all good stories begin, I can still remember writing these words when I was 16 years old and at school we had to write a story from our lives so far. I’ve always been fascinated with stories.

So of course I would start the story of my life with these words, fairy tales, myths and legends surrounded me as a child. I grew up in Cornwall steeped in stories. The home of pirates, Piskies, fairies, witches, mythological beasts that roamed the Moors.

The immortal words ‘Once upon a time’ have been with us since time began, and we have been sharing stories for as long .

Stories are our maps to navigate through lives. We tell stories to make sense of the events we experience. We share stories to connect with other people. We use stories to learn from each other, to inspire the next person and to show them what’s really possible and what we can overcome.

Stories can inspire us, inspire us on to achieve great feats.

But today I want us to look at the other stories, the stories that can keep us stuck in old patterns, frustrating us and preventing us from claiming our dreams and fulfilling our potential. These patterns that don’t serve us, that keep us stuck and believing in things that are no longer relevant or true or what I call SPELLs.

Not spells that change pumpkin’s into Royal carriages or mice into horses, but spells that cast their enchantment over us nonetheless.

As we grow up, we grow out of stories such as believing in father Christmas, the tooth fairy, but some stories we don’t grow out of. We keep them and they become our own personal mythology. These stories go into our personal spell book and this spell book governs the rules that in chance and shape our life.

They are so much a part of us that we don’t even notice when we’re invoking them.

These spells are often created for a reason, a way of protecting us, of keeping us safe when we didn’t know any better, when we didn’t have the resources, knowledge or understanding to make different choices.

For example, if a child grows up in an environment where they don’t feel safe, they may create an emotional and energetic wall around them for protection. They enchant themselves with a protective SPELL and for good reason. A child may learn how to become a chameleon and show only the side of themselves that they know will be accepted, loved, and praised, or they may learn how to blend into the background so they don’t draw unnecessary attention to themselves as they’ve learned that being seen, being too noisy or too opinionated can have painful consequences.

Such defensive methods can ensure surviving emotionally and physically through these challenging or threatening times. Yet years pass and though they may now be safe, these remain and they can continue to play out and hold us captive, sabotaging personal and professional lives and preventing us from going after or even connecting with our dreams and desires.

The SPELL is no longer needed yet it remains and they can often show up in a person’s life as fears. Commonly in my practice, they present as fear of being abandoned, fear of being blamed, fear of not being good enough.

The behaviours that result from these SPELLS can include not allowing yourself to dream or to dream bigger than you already do. Thinking that you’re selfish for wanting more in life, thinking that you don’t deserve to have your needs met, let alone having all of your dreams and so much more for thinking that you’re too much in any area of your life or that your emotions are too big and make other people uncomfortable.

These SPELLs become a way of life, a habits, an unconscious way of living your life so much so that you no longer even notice how the SPELLs are still influencing your decisions, your relationships with yourself and others.

The first step to breaking the SPELLs is to become aware of what SPELL you’re actually under, what stories you continue to tell yourself that strengthen the grip of the SPELL.

Stories from the past, the ones inherited from families, communities and society, and the stories we continue to tell ourselves they all live on in us long after the initial need for them has passed.

These stories become our own personal myth and the SPELL that hold us in their trance.

What we think or imagine individually or collectively becomes our reality. Breaking the SPELLs and changing your story is possible when you become aware of them. From there, we can begin to loosen their grip as we wake up from their enchantment, we can take back control of the pen and start to rewrite our stories.

If you know me, you know I love an acronym. I have many, many in my business. I love how they simplify messages and I’m all about making things easy. So of course the process of Breaking the SPELL to Change Your Story is an acronym of the word SPELL.

And then at the end of this video, I have another acronym for you. It’s a 15 minutes super easy practice for you to follow along with so that you can further loosen the grip of the SPELLs that are holding you back in life.

This is one of the most powerful techniques I know and I feel it’s so important for you to do that. It’s my gift to you, but right now let’s look at the process.

SPELL stands for Stories, Perspective, Experience, Language and Loyalty.

The process to start to break the SPELL is to identify your stories, to change your perspective, to deepen your experience, to be mindful of your language, and to nurture your loyalty to yourself. So let’s take a closer look at each of the stages of the process.

Identifying Your STORIES

It’s crucial to identify your stories, the roles you play in life, the roles you play, when different people are around, despite what you may have been told growing up or the books you read as a child. Your story isn’t a story of princess princes and princesses, dragons, and far off lands.

Having said that, it can be a story of happily ever after. Once you break the SPELL You don’t need a Prince to rescue you. You are more than capable of rescuing yourself. You don’t need to fight mythical beasts. There are enough real ones already living in your life, but they’re not called dragons, they’re called fears and self-doubt. There wasn’t an evil step-mom who had you poisoned… well, I hope not, but that is an entire society who profits from teaching you that you’re not good enough, that you’re broken and that you can’t trust yourself.

What stories have you bought into?

It’s time for you to take out the pen, to write your own stories, as you break the SPELLs and change your life, you are a divine Creatrix. Everything you think say or do, puts something in motion. You are always creating.

It’s time to be discerning, to bring consciousness back to your creations, to choose wisely, to know yourself deeply so you can honour your truth and Uplevel the quality of your choices.

To start this, you could begin to pay attention to how you talk about and describe yourself. What are the limits and struggles you identify with?

What character do you play?

Who or what do you identify with?

This isn’t a process to berate yourself or to think you’ve done something wrong. It’s simply an exercise of becoming curious.

Next we move on to changing your perspective.

Dr Victor Franco, a Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning wrote something that really resonated with me. He said that everything can be taken away from a man, but one thing, the last of the human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances to choose one’s own way. Basically he said that you get to choose your own story. No matter what you’ve encountered in life, how joyful or horrific you can take control of the narrative and choose your own story.

To change the narrative, we need to change our perspective, our perspective of a situation.

Imagine a mountain for a moment. Now imagine that you’re born at the bottom of the mountain all around you. All you can see are dense shrubs and trees, large boulders strewn all around, and you can’t see above you or out through the thickets and trees and shrubs.

The area is rich in life and activity, but you can’t see very far into the distance so you have nothing to compare it with. It’s all that you know.

This is what you’re born into.

Consider this family genetics, the belief and conditioning of the family and people you grew up with, including schooling and education.

Some of these beliefs may be positive, but others may be limiting.

Your challenge throughout life is to get a different perspective to see through the limitations or some of the beliefs that you have been taught and accepted as true.

To do this, you need to metaphorically climb the mountain, and yes it may take blood, sweat and tears, but every step higher you take, you start to realise that there’s more out there.

You become freer.

You begin to see the world differently.

As you become aware of the new world appearing around you, as you climb the mountain, you see off into the distance, perhaps seeing fields, forests, lakes, and other mountain ranges that you didn’t even know existed.

Changing your perspective lets you understand that there is more than one way to see any story.

Next, we move on to looking at your EXPERIENCE and making it a deeper, richer experience of life, of your life lived, honouring you.

It’s important that you become aware of, and become present within your body so that you literally embody your experience of life.

It’s easy for women to disconnect from their physical body, whether this is because of trauma, self-rejection, comparing themselves to others or thinking they’re not good enough, this disconnection can lead you to lose touch with yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It can be painful to be present in your body. It can be difficult to trust yourself.

It can feel easier to numb your feelings with substances such as food or alcohol or through activities such as scrolling through social media or watching excessive amounts of television.

It’s essential that you come back into your own body so that you can be present and comfortable with your physical experience of yourself and life.

Once you become present, you can become truly intimate with yourself so that you know exactly what you want, need, and desire.

You learn to say no and to say yes. You speak up for yourself and know what you no longer tolerate. You can choose to live a life, an experience that aligns with your true beliefs, your values, your energy.

As you become more deeply connected to your dreams and desires and your purpose in life, as you deepen further into your truth, it becomes easier to make choices from a place of power and clarity rather than the place of fear and expectations.

This brings us onto the first ‘L’ , LANGUAGE.

Be Mindful of your LANGUAGE.

There isn’t much to elaborate on with language. It’s very self-explanatory, but that doesn’t take away its incredible significance and power because words are the ultimate SPELLs.

Just think about that for a moment. Words are SPELLs. That’s why writing them is called spelling.

Every word is filled with magic and power and they can quite literally create your reality.

Florence Scovel Shinn, an artist and author of the late 1800’s, had a phrase that I love. She said that your ‘words are your wand’ and that you can wave your word wand over any situation to change it.

How do you use your words?

What phrases do you use most often?

What are they affirming that you believe to be true.

Even words said flippantly and in jest are taken literally by your mind and the universe.

Your nervous system responds to words as if they were all true.

It doesn’t do well with nuances. Sarcasm, and jokes.

That’s why stories can move us to tears, laughter, or even anger even when we know that they’re not real.

Words create a physical response within us. We believe what we hear and what we read.

Could you use your words more consciously?

How could you be more discerning in your use of your words so that you could add power and creation to the things that you really want and desire.

And on the other side of that, are there words, phrases, or types of communication that you would benefit from giving up?

This moves us nicely onto our second ‘L’ and the final letter of our acronyms SPELL. ‘L’ is for LOYALTY.

It’s important to nurture your loyalty to yourself.

Loyalty to yourself means learning to trust your feelings, your energy and your intuition.

Yes, seek advice from people you trust, but know that the final decision has to rest with you.

Lead with your intuition, listen to your feelings and trust yourself.

Make sure that you’re loyal to the right things in life, including the right people.

Focus on the things that nourish and support you so that you are replenished and can show up fully for your friends, family, and community in a way that feeds you, rather than depletes you or leaves you feeling frustrated and resentful.

Being loyal to yourself means raising your standards.

Expect more of yourself and more of others.

Be clear of your values and your boundaries. Remembering that boundaries aren’t to keep people out, but they do show them the door and how to use that door respectfully.

Honour your values and feelings. Let them be front and centre of your life. Don’t compromise if it doesn’t feel good.

Be mindful of where you give your power away.

Everything is an exchange of energy and negotiation of power, so make sure that you’re not leaving yourself depleted by giving away more than you have in any given moment.

Be mindful of remaining LOYAL to yourself and what’s truly important to you. Knowing that how you show up, the words you use and the stories you tell yourself greatly impact your experience of yourself and of life.

The more deeply rooted you are into what’s important to you and how loyal you remain to yourself dictates how influenced you’ll be by the SPELLs, the opinions and expectations of others.

I’m reminded of the quote by author T F Hodge; ‘The energy you bring, positive or negative, dictates your perceptions, receptions, and radiations’.

You could quite easily change the word ‘energy’ in that quote, for the words ‘beliefs’ or ‘stories’.

So whatever you focus on, whether you bring in positive or negative beliefs, your stories dictate your perceptions, receptions and radiations, or in other words, it will dictate how influenced you are by the SPELLs and how you experience your story of life.

So breaking the SPELLs, by identifying your stories, changing your perspective, deepening your experience, being mindful of your language, and nurturing your loyalty to yourself, will change your beliefs and ultimately change your story.

I hope you now have more awareness of the SPELLs and how they may be influencing you in life, and you have an idea of how to start loosening that influence over you.

As I mentioned earlier, I have a gift for you to really start to break free from the SPELLs.

Last year I was interviewed on a podcast and I was asked what I would love to see taught to all children at school and I instantly responded ‘energetic health’.

We’re routinely taught about the importance of physical health and people are beginning to understand the importance of emotions too, but very few people prioritise their energetic health and yet you could argue that energetic health is very much what influences your physical health and your emotional health.

So I created a super easy and quick practice to strengthen your energy system so that you can importantly redefine your boundaries and get clear on what’s yours and what’s not. T.

his means that you can quickly identify the SPELLs and get clear on if they are your beliefs or if you’re being influenced by the expectations and SPELLs of others.

The women who do this practice time and time again, tell me it’s the single biggest thing that they do that’s changed their life. Yes, yes. I know that it sounds like a big claim, but those are the exact words that they use to me time and time again.

It’s a practice that I’ve been honing for my two decades of professional energy work and I believe in it so much and I believe it’s so incredibly important for you that I’m going to give you access to it for free.

As I mentioned earlier, it is another acronym. I do love an acronym, and the acronym is the word SACRED, and it really is a SACRED practice. A sacred pause in your day, so that you can take a moment to connect with yourself and your highest wisdom and to become grounded into your own presence, so that you can create your life with aligned intention.

To get access to this SACRED practice, to break the SPELLs so that you can rewrite your story, head over to my website, , they’re you’ll get access to the videos so that you can follow along with me.

And there’s also a PDF summary so that you can do the practice by yourself.

If you do this practice for 10 days straight, it’s only about 10 to 15 minutes. If you do it for 10 days straight, you will absolutely feel the difference. But just like going to the gym, doing it once a week or once a month is better than not doing it at all. But the more you do it, the stronger your energy and boundaries become and the clearer, more aligned you become in your everyday experience of life.

So I hope you found this video useful. I’d love to hear what your biggest takeaway was, and of course, let me know how you get on with your SACRED practice.

Once again, you can get access to it by heading to my website,

look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks for joining me and I’ll see you soon.


Break the SPELLs Q&A November 2020