Hello and welcome to PRIORITISING You!
How does it feel to put yourself first?
I want you just to take a moment just to take a breath and sit with that feeling: The idea of PRIORITISING You.
To be selfish, if you will.
To allow yourself to dream, to explore what you want from life.
You, nobody else.
How does it feel?
Is it: Yes, let’s go about time!
Or is it: Oh…. Am I allowed? That’s a bit selfish, but what about x, Y, and z?
Particularly as women in society, we’re taught to prioritise the needs of others, over ourselves.
We’re told that to do anything other than that is selfish, we’re the natural caregivers, the space holders, the people that we’ll sort out, the children, the elderly, the elderly parents. It tends to be a role that is expected of a woman. Of course, not always, but just generally.
There is that energy of expectation for a woman to prioritise, to put her career on hold, her dreams on hold . For women just to put all of their things on the back burner as they support other people.
Now, many of the women that I’ve worked with over the years, they’ve put their dreams on hold for so long, that they can’t actually remember what those dreams were.
They’re suppressed so much that if I had a magic wand, which of course I do lol, and I could wave it for them, what would you be doing? And they don’t know.
And this is what this module is all about.
It’s about reconnecting to your truth as you remember the things that are important to you.
So the first thing I ask you to do is dream. Okay?
There is no right or wrong.
The bigger the dream doesn’t mean better.
It might be something that feels quite small, and maybe that’s perfect for you right now.
The first exercise asks you to start dreaming.
And we look at different areas of your life. So you might want to start with, in any order, all of them, family and friends, your career, fun and recreation, your physical environment, relationships, personal or spiritual growth and contribution.
What would fill you with joy every day to wake up with those areas of your life?
Maybe there’s a feeling you want to experience in those areas.
Maybe there’s a value you want to experience front and center.
Maybe there are things you want to do, things you want to explore, dreams that need fulfilling and realising maybe you don’t know.
Even if you start, and your first words are: I really don’t know what I want to dream about. If I had to guess, it would be…
I encourage you to write this because writing takes you out of your intellect and into your creative mind where the possibilities are endless.
Don’t be limited by your situation. Put all of that on hold while you dream.
Yes, you might not be able to afford to do what you want to do.
Yes, you might not have the time or the support structure in place right now, this very moment. That doesn’t mean that’s not going to change.
Allow yourself to dream as big as you can.
This is the energy of curiosity.
It’s the energy of expansion.
For you to really dive deep, and I’ve shared this before, I even a blog post about this, but I used to hate journaling. I used to call it the ‘J word’. I couldn’t journal.
I’d go on courses, retreats, workshops, and people would say: “Rebecca, you’ve written nothing”. And I’d shrug. I couldn’t do it because I knew as soon as I wrote something, it was reconnecting, reawakening, that part of me that I had been suppressing. And once I did that, once I admitted that to myself, I knew I had to make change.
So this is a very intimate experience with yourself. You might remember things that you had forgotten, like the dreams you had as a child. What was it you wanted to do? Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut and actually maybe now you think, oh, I don’t want to be an astronaut now, but maybe that energy of exploration, of science, of pushing boundaries still remains with you today.
Even if you don’t know what you want from life. start with, what you wanted to be as a child?
What were the values?
What were the tasks that that role did?
There’s nothing to stop you being an astronaut at whatever time in life that you’re watching this video. But maybe there’s just parts of that role that actually relevant for you now. S.
So we are not limiting ourselves, we are bursting right open. We are in the energy of exploration, of possibility, of curiosity.
If you write it down, it doesn’t mean that you have to do it.
So write as many things down as you want.
This is a process that’s going to be refined over this five-part this process. So once you’ve had fun with that and you’ve dreamed and you’ve written sheets and sheets of paper and you’re saying: Wow, I’d forgotten about this dream and oh my goodness, yeah, I’d love to do that. And oh my goodness, that sense of freedom would just be amazing…
Then we start to look at actually how that’s showing up in your life right now.
And there is a chart, it’s based on like the coaching Wheel of Life, where you take those areas that you looked at, so that could’ve been family and friends, career fun and recreation, spiritual growth, contribution, whatever it was, and you put them around the chart of the wheel and you score each section it zero to 10.
Where in your life right now, are you feeling, say if we did family and friends, Maybe you feel an eight for family and friends. So shade in eight lines. And then you get to Career and you’re not really happy in your job right now. So maybe you scale it at a three, then you move on to fun and recreation, and actually maybe that’s got room for improvement, so you know, that’s a five.
And at the end of it, you’re left with the wheel clearly showing you, with nowhere to hide, no excuses to make, how in harmony your life is right now.
You might look at it and go, oh my God, that’s amazing. I’m doing so much more than I realised.
Or you might go, oh, ouch, I need to make some changes. There’s some conversations. I need to have this. I need to prioritise myself in this area.
This is what this whole exercise is about. It’s about identifying what’s important to you and where you need to prioritise yourself more.
Which then moves us beautifully onto the energy of boundaries.
Now you’re here because you’ve done my SACRED practice. The the SACRED practice is all about creating your energetic space, you know, when we did the purple bubble, we’re creating the energetic boundary of, of saying, this is what I expect. This is not what I expect. It’s about making very clear to the universe and the world around us energetically that this is my boundary.
But in reality, how is that showing up for you?
This gives us a chance to consciously create on another wheel [a separate PDF]; This is what I will tolerate. This is what I won’t tolerate. This is acceptable to me. This is not.
It gives you the confidence that next time you’re in the energy of a behavior, your own behavior or the behavior of someone else, you now have it documented and can say: ‘No!’, ‘Do you know what, that makes me uncomfortable’, or ‘I’m willing to accept that’.
It just makes it very clear.
It brings clarity, it holds your energy, it reminds you of how sacred and valuable you are.
It honors your truth. It honors your priorities.
You’re making yourself a priority, around behavior, around language, around environments.
Maybe there’s something in your house and it’s not acceptable anymore. You say: That’s going, I hate it. I didn’t like the color of that anymore. It’s being re-painted.
And just by doing one or two of those things, if you went back to your Wheel that you coloured in and you gave it a new score on a scale of zero to 10 just by making a few changes might increase some of those areas.
We started by focusing on what are your dreams.
Then we asked, how much are you honoring those dreams in your life right now. And to be honest, if you start at zero, you can only go up, so don’t be disheartened if you’re a zero because there is only one way to go right now.
Then we looked at what you needed to make it possible for you to honor yourself and your needs, what boundaries do you have to establish, to enforce, to create?
And then you can relax into that.
Because now you have a sacred container.
So when the world around you has other expectations for you, you can check in with your priorities and say: nope, I’m not doing that.
‘The world expects me to do x, Y and z. But actually that doesn’t align with who I am. It doesn’t align with who I’m becoming’. So you get to say No!
It’s a practice.
The first time you might be a bit shaky, but after a while you say: actually no, that is not acceptable for me anymore.
It’s kind of like, I’ve been vegetarian since I was 13, so nearly 30 years and so if you said to me: Do you want a chicken sandwich? It’s like, no, it wouldn’t even cross my mind to say yes. It’s just who I am.
It’s just habits. It’s just done.
And this is what it’s like when you can PRIORITISE Yourself. It just is.
So if you are vegetarian, I mean I was 13 so I hadn’t really eaten like a huge amount of meat. But if lots of people say to me, don’t you miss bacon? I can so ‘No’ with certainty. But if you were a newly vegetarian, and someone says; would you like a bacon sandwich, you might respond: I’d love one, but no.
And then after a while they’d just say no, because they don’t eat meat.
It becomes part of their identity. I just don’t eat meat.
And it’s like the same with your priorities. It’s the same with your boundaries. The first time it might be like, oh, I don’t know, maybe…. And then after a while it’s your identity, and it becomes:
No, I don’t accept that.
No, I don’t do this.
Yes, this is what I do.
Yes, this is a practice I do all the time because I value it.
Yes, this is a contribution I make to my communities, to my family, to whatever it may be… Because that is who I am.
So you’re PRIORITISING the truth of who you are.
Now when you get a bit shaky, and you question is you can do it, there’s a meditation for you to do. It’s only eight minutes long. It has two parts for the meditation. The first part is an ‘I’ statement and it’s: I prioritise my needs. It’s removing any stress or any discomfort around you actually PRIORITISING You, because you are working against a lifetime, and a society, of expectations, of should’s, and of maybe being the ‘good girl’.
Maybe that’s part of your identity and that’s what we’re having to break down.
So just listen to that audio meditation as many times as you like.
You start off by thinking, ‘I prioritise my needs’. Your head might go off to different areas, different times, different places. You might remember a time you did prioritise yourself and it went horribly wrong. Or someone called you selfish… just acknowledged those thoughts and let them go. As you go back to thinking the phrase: ‘I prioritise my needs’.
And then the second part is for you to receive an essence. So we’ve cleared away some of the stress, some of that energetic debris that’s been holding you back and keeping you stuck. And then you receive an essence to support you, to PRIORITISE Yourself, to help you understand what is important for you. So you can put your needs first.
And then if you still I don’t know what your dreams are, we’ve had some activated Mandalas created.
The idea is that you print it off and then you just colour it. You just doodle and start colouring it in and just asking yourself the question: what do I need to prioritise more of in my life?
What is important to me?
And you’re just coloring away. Again, we’re coming out of the intellectual brains. We’re asking questions, but we’re allowing the creative mind to find its answer. So you’re just doodling away and you might just have ideas and thoughts and it’s just like drifting off.
So it’s less about doing, doing, doing, and answering those questions, and making it an intellectual exercise, and more about coming home to yourself and allowing yourself to remember.
So I hope you have lots of fun.
If you have any comments or any questions, there’s a comment box here or come into the Facebook group THE SHEro’s Circle and ask your questions there.
I look forward to hearing about your dreams.
Over the next 12 months, what are your biggest, dreamiest goals and vision you have for yourself.
If you were allowed anything, and you had no limits on resources what would you be experiencing in 12 months?
Where would you be living?
Who would be living with you, if indeed there is anyone?
How would you spend your days?
What feelings would you be experiencing the most?
Who would you be spending your time with – if you can’t think of particular people, what kind of people are they?
How much time do you spend alone/ working/ socialising/ recharging/ contributing etc?
Once you are clear on your goals and visions, how do the following areas support you bring these into reality:
You have your Big Picture Dream, now it’s time to make it, and of course YOU, your own priority.
One of the easiest ways to do this, is to identify if there are any noticeable energy leaks, or drains on your time, intentions, passions, and Big Picture Dream.
You can use the Witches Wheel of Revelation to identify if you are living your life in alignment with your passions and purpose, or fighting off energy drains.
The Witches Wheel is based on a traditional coaching tool called the Wheel of Life.
You could include the following Five areas, these are your Witch P.O.W.E.R’s:
Then choose another 3 areas of your life that are important to you, or choose from these:
Or use the values that are important to you, for example:
Once you have chosen 5, write them onto the Wheel below, and rate each area out of 10.
0 = Not satisfied with area at all
10 = Fully satisfied
The lower the number, suggests the more of an energy leak/drain you have in that area, and the need for firmer boundaries.
Assign each area colour, and colour in the relevant number of rings.
This will then give you an overview of where you currently are in your life, what’s working well, and what needs your attentionThe-Witch-Academy-Witches-wheel-1
Using the information you identified with your Witch P.O.W.E.R. Wheel, you can now identify where you need to set firmer boundaries, so that you can prioritise you and your dreams.
Use the chart on P12 of your Reset Journal to get clear on what you will accept in your life.
The closer the value/person etc is to the centre, the stronger your boundary will be around it.
And for those things that you will no longer accept in your life, they go on the outside of the circles.
For example you may decide that you will no longer tolerate people gossiping in your company.
So the word ‘gossip’ goes on the outside of the circles, and is not allowed through your boundary.
And the word(s) that describes what you are intending to have more of (by removing the gossip) go closer to the centre – perhaps you want your life to be more joyous, loving, caring, nurturing, supportive etc