Hello and welcome back!
Are you ready to Honour Your WORTH?
How does that feel?
If I was to ask you, just to close your eyes, if it’s safe to do so right now, how worthy do you feel on a scale of one to 10? One being I don’t deserve anything? I’m a terrible person, to 10 being yeah, I get everything that I want, all my needs are met and absolutely I deserve the absolute best.
Where are you, honestly, one or 10 in between.
This is not about judgment.
This is just like taking a snapshot, a moment in time right this moment. Because you know, right now you might feel really worthy and then tomorrow you’ve had an argument with someone and someone told you that they didn’t like this or that, or you did this wrong… and suddenly your worth has plummeted….
So right now, how does your WORTH feel?
Because once again, guess what… It’s all about the practice?
We’re going to instil some beliefs and practices to remind you to build up that muscle of WORTH, so that you can hold the energy of WORTH.
Even if someone tells you you’ve done something wrong, instead of falling back into the pattern of: Oh my God, I get everything wrong, I’m no good… If you ever find yourself falling into those patterns, this practice, this process will help you change that and replace it with: Oh God, I made a mistake. Oops, how can I correct it? What do I need to put in place so it doesn’t happen again. So it doesn’t become such a disaster. Maybe it’s a bit embarrassing, but it’s more of an inconvenience.
You’d really like to think that people feeling into that WORTH would be a natural thing, because everybody has worth, it’s inherent just by the very fact of your existence, you are worthy.
When we ignore that, when we ignore thoughts, we dismiss our own feelings, when we call ourselves all sorts of names, or tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be feeling a particular way, tell ourselves that we shouldn’t be so sensitive…. We miss our achievements, instead of giving ourselves the recognition that we deserve.
You get to the end of the week, look at your to-do list and notice all of the things you haven’t done. Instead of going: oh my goodness, look what I have done this week! Look at all those things that I have done!
That’s how we can see how we use the energy of WORTH, and when your WORTH isn’t as strong as it could be, one of the key factors is we look outside of ourselves for the answers. We start to value other people’s opinions and experiences over our own.
You’ll find that you have an inspiration, you’ll know what you want to do and you’ll say: Yes!, I’m going to do this.
And then you tell someone and they say something along the lines of:
Why do you want to do that?
That seems a bit crazy.
Oh, I tried that once. It was really difficult.
You don’t want to do that.
And the thing is, one thing I really believe, and after over two decades of working in this field I feel this to be true, is that you have a dream, because you can make it happen. And when you believe that you believe in your WORTH, you feel: I can do this. I can make this happen. Yes, what my dream is, is worthy of my time and attention. It is worth my contribution. It is worth doing it just for me!
And you can make it happen because you have that dream and desire. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. It doesn’t mean that you might not have to learn something or bring in extra resources and support for yourself, but it does mean you can make it happen.
And those people around you that are going, oh, you don’t want to do that. I tried it. It was really hard , and my AUnt Mabel’s, cat’s, dog’s, friend, they tried it and it didn’t work for them.
These people, other people, aren’t supposed to understand your dream. It’s your dream.
And when you have your WORTH strong, when someone else says: You don’t want to do that… And you’ll respond: ‘Thanks for your contribution. I hear that.’ But you don’t let it affect your decision.
Now somebody that you trust and who has walked the path before you, they might give you advice and you you take it onboard, maybe you just to do a course correct. And you’ll know that because intuitively it’ll feel right and you’ll trust yourself.
That’s when your WORTH is the strongest. When you trust yourself.
So that person that’s saying: oh, don’t do that. You’ll listen and you’ll check in with yourself, and if what they say doesn’t resonate, you’ll push it to one side and with someone else you might be like: okay, I hear you, I’ll take that onboard.
So it’s not that we don’t listen to other people, but we do so with discernment. We have value for ourselves, enough that we honour that our decisions, that are feelings, that are our intuition, are all valid for us, and they deserve the biggest influence for those decisions.
When your WORTH is good, the way that you practice is that you do listen to your intuition. You do the SACRED practice so that you can connect up and root down and really hear your intuition, you get to know what is your voice and what is not.
So if you’re berating yourself, saying: you’re just being so childish, you’re being dramatic. You’re being overemotional, you take a moment to stop and ask: Is that what you really believe about yourself? Or are those old patterns that you’ve had projected onto you, that actually now you think of as your own?
I always say, if you hear something negative said to yourself, you know, like when you’re having internal chatter and you’re, saying: oh, you’re just stupid, you’ll never get this right. You’ll never do it properly. Just pause for a moment and say, is that my voice? Because the chances are it’s not. It might be a parent, a caregiver, a teacher, but the chances are it’s not your voice. So when we know that it’s not our voice, we give it distance so that we can then create that distance, that boundary, so we can hear our own voice and we learn to trust it. We befriend ourselves, we hold ourselves with compassion. We make a mistake and a set of berating ourselves or only berate ourselves for a little bit, we’re like, oh, you poor thing that was really embarrassing. Or, Oh, did you not get it right? Okay, how can we do better next time here? Let’s have a hug, and you do something to look after yourself, to support yourself, and nourish yourself rather than just be horrible to yourself.
Quite often the chatter that people have in their own heads, if that was a person speaking that way, there’s no way you’d be friends. So ask yourself, I always like to think of it as; what would you tell a small child?
I have a five-year-old and if he makes a mistake, I don’t yell at him. I don’t berate him. I don’t make him feel awful. If he’s, having a moment, I wait for him to have his moment, and then I wonder how could we try that differently? I hold him, if he’s feeling like he wants a hug, he gets a hug, we don’t have to be mean. We can be soft and loving and gentle to ourselves because in that energy of gentleness and the energy of play and curiosity, it’s where we grow. That’s where we learn.
Another really good way to value your WORTH is to say thank you.
When someone says something lovely to you, and says, oh my goodness, I love that dress on you. Instead of going, oh, it’s nothing. Or if someone says, oh my goodness, thank you so much for helping me x, y, and z. You don’t go, oh no, no. It was nothing. You say, “Thank you”.
Thank you. Full Stop.
Maybe a: you’re welcome.
Let them recognise you.
Let them honour you for showing up, for looking fantastic, for brushing your hair, whatever it is.
Let yourself receive those compliments.
Celebrate yourself at the end of the week.
Sit down and think: What have I done this week, not: Oh God, what haven’t I done? But what have you done?
You know, getting yourself to work on time, getting the kids to school on time, remembering pack lunches, remembering birthdays, remembering to feed yourself. Having a shower, getting to the gym, making a healthy choice, going for going for a walk rather than watching another episode of whatever.
Whatever felt good to you, whatever fits in with your priorities that you’re working with, honour every time you said ‘yes’ to yourself, honour every time you said ‘no’ to someone else so that you could say yes to you, so that you’re honouring your boundaries and your priorities.
A friend of mine calls this a Brag Book. I think it has such a cool name… Make yourself a Brag Book. Get a journal and write down every compliment you receive. Every time you think: I did a really good job. Or you were really really proud of something you created, or that something that was amazing. You made dinner that tasted divine. You paired it with the perfect wine, and with the perfect dessert.
Whatever it may be… When you’ve gone out of your way to help someone else. Other people have helped you, recognise that other people want to help you because you’re the kind of person they want to help. So allow yourself to recognise the role that in you.
Write it all down in your journal so that when you’re feeling a bit down, get out your book and remind yourself how you helped this person, you did this and achieved that, and you did this and remind yourself that you walked 10,000 steps for 10 days.
Whatever it is, just allow yourself to celebrate all of it.
So that’s the first part is to really recognise and trust yourself.
You’re listening to your intuition and recognising you as a person, how you show up, how you contribute to your own life and to the world around you.
The second part is about cultivating self-love, knowing that you are worthy of love, knowing that you are worthy of supporting yourself on all levels.
Maybe there are old habits you need to let go of, a change of habits, a change of routine.
Maybe there’s memories that you need to heal, forgive, and let go of.
Maybe there’s boundaries you need to enforce. We talked about in the previous module, what is it you will accept? What is it that you won’t accept from; yourself as much as anybody else? What needs do you need to get met?
How can you make yourself feel safe, loved and supported by yourself?
First and foremost, how can you love yourself more?
How can you show yourself love?
How can you meet your needs?
How can you make yourself feel safe, not by shutting down, not by shutting the world out, but what do you need in place to feel safe to remain open?
This comes back down to boundaries. If we’re really clear on our boundaries and you won’t accept or tolerate certain behaviours, you get to feel safer because the people in your life aren’t going to hurt you.
Sure, of course, people might make a mistake or disappoint you or let you down, but not generally. And you have the resilience and insight to deal with whatever comes your way.
You have that trust and belief in yourself because you know that you are worthy.
You make choices from that place of power and confidence rather than from a place of fear.
So how does that sound?
You ask to get your needs met because you know what they are. Maybe you’re like, oh, I never really thought that was a need of mine, but maybe it is.
Maybe you need some quiet time, maybe you need some social time, maybe some time in nature, maybe some time immersed in culture.
There’s is no right or wrong.
It’s only what you need.
This isn’t about expecting other people to meet our needs for us. We are responsible for ourselves. We have to do this. But first of all, you need to know what you need and then you need to ask for it.
Okay? So how does that sound?
So then, once again, we have the meditation, which is in two parts. The first part is: ‘I am worthy of all I desire. ‘.
So all of those things that you wrote under prioritising yourself, it’s like, yes, I’m allowed to prioritise myself and now I am WORTHY of it.
You can call this in because you deserve it. You don’t have to do anything to be deserving. You don’t have to rescue children. Walk nuns across the road. You don’t need to do anything like that. This isn’t a bartering system.
You deserve it, period.
You are worthy of all you desire.
And then of course we have the colouring sheet as well, so you can just doodle whilst thinking about what your needs are. What was going to make you feel safe?
Thinking: Yeah. Oh my goodness. I am WORTHY of getting it. I have done really well this week. Even if it’s just one thing. Even if you can only think of one thing a week, at the end of the year, you have 52 things, and I know you can do better than one a week. At least one a day… Remembering the time that you had that extra glass of water, you’re like, yeah, look at me looking after my health.
Prioritising that as something that’s important to you, whatever it may be, write it all down because it gives you something tangible that you can look at and be like, oh, look at me. Look at how much I’ve grown, which then allows you to ask for your needs to be met.
It allows you to prioritise yourself and it allows you to own your gifts because you are WORTHY of having them.
Can you see how this is beautifully building up?
So how fun. Get that Brag book or whatever you want to call it. It’s like one-up from a gratitude journal… This is about you appreciating yourself. Of course, we’re grateful to other people in our lives, but right now the focus is on you and if that makes you feel uncomfortable, then you need to listens to the meditation once again!
Okay, I’ll see you very soon. Bye.
You’d think it should be the most natural thing in the world to honour your worth, but how often do you ignore your intuition, or belittle your thoughts, feelings, and achievements?
How often do you base your decisions, and what you share with others, on the opinions of others, and what you think they might say to you?
Here’s a list of techniques that you can do to practise, and strengthen, your ability to honour yourself:
We are often told that we should love and value ourselves more, but what does that really mean?
As with all love, love for ourselves needs to be nurtured and paid attention to.
Self-love is love in action.
It’s about making choices, and taking action that repeatedly shows appreciation for yourself.
It’s about creating an environment, internal and external, that supports you on all levels of your being – physical, mental, energetic, and spiritual.
What do you need to do, or change, to nurture how you feel about yourself?