Magickal Self-Care Day 3 – Your Home

Magickal Self-Care Day 3 – Your Home

Welcome back to 12-days of Magickal Self-Care.

On day 3, I want to focus on your home.

Yesterday we looked at how self-care is much more than just magazine worthy bubble baths and mani-pedi’s, as great as they can be, self-care is more about the daily things, often the small things like remembering to drink water or breathe deeply, that support your wellness on all levels of your being.

Today I want us to turn your attention to your home.

That may seem like an odd place to go next, but your home can make you feel safe. And if you want to create change and learn to prioritise yourself and your needs you need to feel safe enough to do that.

 

Feeling safe is essential if you want to experience real self-care

It’s essential that you feel safe.

Safe in your surroundings and safe in your body.

Many people don’t feel safe in their body.

This may stem from having an unhealthy relationship of view of their body. This can be caused by a society that encourages comparison, or it could be due to health issues, pain or trauma.

Many people punish themselves and their body – you can see this when people have an unhealthy relationship with food or exercise, either doing too much or too little of either.

 

The body can be painful

Let’s face it, the body can be a painful place to be.

Physical aches and pain. Unwanted attention. Not thinking you look the way you should to ‘fit in’ to today’s current beauty standards.

When you look in the mirror do you think kind words to yourself and recognise your beauty, or are you scathing and feel shame for not looking how you think you should. Or perhaps you can’t even bring yourself to look in the mirror.

Your body remembers. It keeps a record of everything you’ve experienced, heard and felt.

 

The body doesn’t lie

When I started my kinesiology practice, I would see many women who came to me with IBS, eczema and other similar issues.

They wanted to know what they were allergic to so that they could eliminate it from their diet.

But in the vast majority of cases, they weren’t allergic to a food, they were ‘allergic’ to the life they were living.

Once we got to the heart of the issue, it was clear that these women were unhappy with their lives. They were intelligent women. They had done everything that had been expected of them. They’d got their education and had successful careers. They had families and a lifestyle they were told that they should have.

So whilst on the outside they appeared successful by a societal standard. They weren’t happy and felt guilty and ashamed for wanting something different.

And not wanting to appear ungrateful they would continue to overcompensate by doing more of what other people wanted of them, further estranging themselves from their needs and desire.

 

Disconnected from their truth

Instead of feeling that they could voice their desire, or in some cases even knowing their desire, they supressed it. Resulting in the pent-up emotions and frustration, even in many cases anger, being expressed through explosive bowels and weeping skin.

It was more socially acceptable for them to have IBS or eczema than it was for them to say that they were unhappy and wanted change.

 

Disconnected from your body

When we don’t feel safe in our body, or feel that it’s working against us, we can disassociate from our body.

When we dissociate from our body, we give away our power and authority because we are no longer connected to our truth and inner knowing.

Unfortunately, many people benefit from you not being in your power. Not being in your power, makes it easier for you to doubt yourself and you become more susceptible advertising as you don’t feel good enough and when you don’t feel good enough you are less likely to make change in your life and the world around you.

 

The importance of presence

When we feel safe, we can be present.

Present in our body. Present to our own needs.

Being present is accepting all of yourself, not just the ‘pretty’ and socially acceptable parts of your body, life and experience.

It’s about accepting, even loving, all of yourself, even your troubled and unglamourous parts. Presence is the acceptance of your wholeness and not the rejection of the parts that no longer fit with who you want to be.

 

Wholeness is where you experience your power

And this wholeness is where your power is, and you access this power through being present.

Tomorrow we’ll talk more about the idea of being present and why that’s so important – especially from an energetic point of view.

But for you to be able to feel safe enough to feel present, we need to start by making your home a place where you can feel safe, or at least safer.

 

Practical magick

So, in my ever so practical style, let’s bring some magic to the mundane and talk cleaning.

Next time you clean any area of your home set the intention to create a safe and nurturing space.

When we clean we remove the old and make room for the new and for the magick to happen.

You may want to clean your entire house, or if that feels a bit overwhelming, choose to start with one room.

Where would you like to bring in the energy of safety and nourishment.

What room do you associate with safety and nourishment? Perhaps it’s the kitchen, bathroom or front room?

And as you clean, have the intention that as well as the normal physical space you’re clearing, that you’re also clearing away any old patterns that no longer serve you.

If you’re cleaning the cooker and oven, you could have the intention that you’re creating the space to receive a more nourishing relationship with yourself and the food eat.

If you’re clearing the bath or shower, you could imagine washing away any negative views of your body and replacing them with positive feelings and love towards yourself.

As you wipe down the mirrors, you can have the intention to see yourself in your wholeness and beauty.

As you clean, open your windows to let in some fresh air and put in your favourite music to uplift your energy.

Clean and declutter, knowing that you are doing so with greater intention and more magickal meaning.

You could also use this as an opportunity to get rid of things that surround you that no longer align with what you want in life. Repair or remove items that are broken. Donate or give giveaway things that you don’t like anymore – or at least put them somewhere you no longer have to see them.

And as a gentle reminder – just because someone gifted you something, you don’t have to keep it on display. You can still be grateful and put it away.

 

To add a little more magick to your cleaning, you could add some herbs or a few drops of essential oil to your water that you’re using for cleaning. You could use:

Basil for wealth

Mint for health

Lavender for peace

Lemon Balm for relationships

Rosemary for good luck

Always being mindful if using herbs and essential oils if you have pets or children.

Use this water to wipe down kitchen counters, mop the floors, clean your windows and mirrors etc.

 

Welcome in a new level of feeling safe

Once you’ve finished cleaning, welcome in your new energy of safety, presence and nourishment.

To do this pay particular attention to your doorstep or front door. This area is where you welcome new energies into your home and life.

Cinnamon is a good herb to sprinkle around these areas or you can use water with cinnamon in to wipe over these areas and charge with its properties of security and luck.

 

Another way to protect your home is to sprinkle a small amount of salt across your front doorstep or under a welcome mat outside.

This cleanses the energies that enter your home.

A final way that you can feel safer in your home is to check the smoke detectors and carbon dioxide detectors. And before you go to bed, double check that windows are shut, and doors are locked.

These may seem like small things to do and that you already do unconsciously. But when we bring our attention to them, we are reaffirming that we are safe, and we can drift off to a deeper, more restful sleep.

 

What will you choose to focus on today?

What can you clean, remove or check, so that you can affirm the energy of feeling safe in your home.

Don’t forget to come and let us know what you’re focusing on over in our community.

And I’ll see you tomorrow for day-4 where we’ll look at how you can build on this energy of feeling safe and extend it to feeling safe in your body so that you can be present to yourself and your needs.

 

12-Days of Magickal Self-Care

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Magickal Self-Care: Day 2 – Honouring Your Needs

Magickal Self-Care: Day 2 – Honouring Your Needs

Welcome back to 12-days of Magickal Self-Care.

On day 2, I want to start by asking you: “what do you need?”

We often avoid asking ourselves this question because we’re afraid it will make us sound selfish, or self centred. The complete opposite of what the world teaches us to be.

We’re often praised for prioritising the needs of other people over our own needs.

Sometimes people have spent so long prioritising the needs of other people that they’ve actually forgotten what they themselves need.

So I’ll ask you again, what do you need in your life right now?

What do you need to bring yourself care and nourishment?

What is your body, mind and spirit really longing for?

Or are you like many of my clients, who have become so disconnected with themselves and their body, that they can no longer decipher the true needs?

 

What self-care is, really

Let’s start by breaking these patterns and look at the idea of self-care.

People often think about self-care as being mani-pedi’s, spa days, bubble baths and massages. Now of course these can be great, but we also need to go back to daily basics.

To me nourishing myself, and self-care goes right back to setting the foundations of my health and vitality…

Including, but not exclusive to:

  • Breathing deeply, and using all of my lungs, not just my upper chest.
  • Moving and stretching my body
  • Staying hydrated
  • Eating a wide range of unprocessed, and fresh, food
  • Sleeping when I need to sleep – including afternoon naps
  • Cuddling with my family
  • Building healthy relationships
  • Saying ‘no’
  • Making time for ‘yes’
  • Spending time in nature
  • Being creative
  • Reading my books
  • Being alone
  • Being around people

It would also include regular visits to my acupuncturist, but also going to the Dr’s if I was ill, or concerned about my health, and also regular health check up’s, including at the dentist and optician.

Self-care also looks like having those conversations you need to have, paying the bills, managing your time, energy and resources.

These lists may not be overly sexy, or magazine worthy, but when these are in place, I feel nourished, and I consider this sacred and magickal self-care.

The sacred is in the ordinary.

 

How would your life be different if…

You said a big resounding YES to yourself.

If you made yourself and your needs a priority?

If you gave yourself permission to put YOU first?

If you said YES to your interests, whims, fantasies, and desires?

 

Honouring your needs isn’t selfish

As cliched as it is you really do need to fill your own cup first. The flight attendants are correct when they say you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you look after other people.

You cannot give from an empty cup, so whilst it might feel selfish initially to put yourself first, think about how the quality of your relationships improves – including with yourself – when you give from a place of fullness rather than a place of emptiness, frustration and exhaustion.

 

Changing the pattern

You’d think it should be the most natural thing in the world to honour your needs, but how often do you ignore your intuition, or belittle your thoughts, feelings, and achievements?

How often do you base your decisions, and what you share with others, on the opinions of others, and what you think they might say to you?

Today I want you to focus on doing one of the following things to really start to strengthen your ability to honour yourself:

 

Listen to Your Intuition and Trust Your Instincts

Keep a note of all of the intuitive insights you have throughout the week, and any ‘gut instinct’ that you feel, and review them at the end of the day or the end of the week. What messages where they telling you, and were they accurate?

 

Befriend Yourself

How many times do you criticise yourself?

Each time you notice yourself being critical, rephrase your thoughts or words, to be positive about yourself.

Ask yourself if it’s really true, and think of all the times and ways your thought just isn’t true. For example, thinking: ‘you always get it wrong’ – is that really true? Have you never got anything right?

Of course you have, so start reminding yourself how these negative thoughts just aren’t true. Or at least contain it to facts.

‘You always get it wrong’ becomes ‘I made one mistake’, so now how can you rectify the mistake.

 

Allow Yourself to Receive

Make the conscious effort to allow people to appreciate you. If someone says, ‘Thank you’, or pays you a compliment, don’t shrug it off, or dismiss it, simply smile and say ‘Thank you’.

Ask people for small favours. If someone asks if you want a cup of tea, instead of ‘politely’ saying ‘No thank you’. Say ‘Thanks that would be great’.

If someone is going to the kitchen, ask if they could bring you back a glass of water.

Just start with small things and let your receiving muscles grow.

 

Say ‘Yes’ to Yourself

Everyday make time for yourself, even if it’s for a few minutes.

How can you honour your needs and desires each day, even if it’s just one thing?

Ask yourself every day ‘what do I need?

Think about something you can do for yourself and say ‘yes’ to it. Perhaps it’s to drink more water, connect with friends, go for a walk, dance to your favourite song, spend 5 minutes journaling, book that Dr’s appointment or pay that outstanding bill.

 

Celebrate Yourself

Each night, write down 10 things that you love and appreciate about you and your body. You can celebrate something that you’ve done well, or the way that you handled a situation, or simply appreciate your body for getting through another day.

Now of course we want to celebrate those people around us and show gratitude for support, circumstances and situations we find ourselves in. But just for a few minutes, give yourself permission to celebrate yourself and really allow yourself to receive that recognition.

 

What will you choose for yourself today?

Don’t forget to come and let us know what you’re focusing on over in our community.

And I’ll see you tomorrow for day-3 where we’ll look at what you can do in your home to support you to feel safe, so that you can build a self-care routine that does the same.

 

12-Days of Magickal Self-Care

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Magickal Self-Care: Day 1 – Honouring Your Energy

Magickal Self-Care: Day 1 – Honouring Your Energy

Welcome to 12-Days of Magical Self Care

We all know that self-care is really important, but we can often put it at the bottom of our to-do list prioritising all the things that need to be done and achieved. Doing all the things that we prioritise over own health and well-being.

I mean it’s hardly surprising that we do this.

We live in a world that rewards hard work and achievements. A world that can make us feel guilty or even selfish for prioritising ourselves and our needs.

This can leave us feeling empty, run down, frustrated and resentful.

 

Just a few moments a day

During our 12-Days of magickal self-care together, I want to show you how it’s possible to take a few moments each day to nourish yourself and fill yourself back up.

I know during this busy festive season, your own self-care might be even further down the list than usual. But when we’re busiest, that’s when we need to look after ourselves the most.

In just a few moments everyday, you’ll remember the importance, joy and benefits of reconnecting with yourself and prioritising yourself, your needs and your care, all with a pinch of magick!

 

You are the magick!

Magickal self-care doesn’t involve you doing anything ‘special’. It’s not about conjuring magick because you are the magick.

You don’t need any special tools or equipment, because you bring the magick, because you are the magick.

Over the next 12 days I want you to reconnect with the magick that is you, the magick and power that you hold within you, so that you can sustain yourself and nourish yourself through anytime of the year, but particularly this time of year when it can feel there’s more demands on your time and energy.

When we think about magickal self-care, we’re of course looking at nourishing your body, but we’re also prioritising your  spiritual health too.

 

Creating Change

When you connect with your magick, you invite yourself to remember that you hold the power to create change in any area of your life.

And by doing just a little bit of self-care each day I’m hoping that you will have a much more fun, nourishing, and fulfilling festive season.

I hope to do this with just a few minutes everyday. A little bit of self-care each day is so much more powerful than one ‘bigger’ thing once a month.

It’s much like exercising. Doing a little bit of exercise each day is much more effective than doing a two-hour gym session once a month.

Stretching your body and getting some fresh air for five minutes a day has a more sustained and therefore greater long-term impact than going to the gym for a mammoth session once a year.

The same with self-care.

Just doing a few moments every day, is so much more powerful than going for a spa day once every six months.

I want to help you create this as part of your routine so that you can create a better relationship with yourself, so that you can learn to trust yourself and listen to your intuition.

 

It starts with noticing your energy

To get us started I want you to explore your energy. To notice how your energy ebbs and flow throughout the day, and how this makes you feel.

One way we can look at this ebb and flow energy is to consider the idea of the masculine and feminine.

When I talk about ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’, I’m not talking about gender. I’m talking about the divine masculine and the divine feminine in the archetypal forms. Regardless of the gender you identify with, everybody has masculine and feminine energy within them.

 

Doing Vs Being

The masculine energy is the energy that helps us to get things done. It gives us drive and logic. It’s linear and likes to keep going and going and going and to do so quickly. It’s all about doing.

The feminine energy within you is the ability to create, rest and receive. It’s the mysteries of your life, your intuition and the things you can’t always explain but know to be true. It has a spiral structure that likes to take its time. It’s all about being.

 

We need both

It’s essential that we have both in our life.

Sometimes we need to call on our more masculine energy when we need to get thigs done, and sometimes we need to embrace more of our feminine when we need to rest and refuel ourselves.

As we get busier it’s easy to push the feminine energy down and ignore her needs, so over the next 12-days I invite you to really look at your relationship with your energy of feminine flow.

I like to imagine the energy of the masculine and the feminine as a river.

The riverbanks are the masculine and the water is the feminine.

The riverbanks provide a clear structure so that the water can express herself.

The riverbanks provide a structure to hold the water – it doesn’t contain the water, just lovingly holds the water so she can express herself in any way she pleases.

The water can go slow or fast, she can carve her own path. But without the riverbanks holding and supporting her, the water would be a flood plain and unable to express herself.

My intention is that over the next 12 days, these daily reminders will be the container for you, so that you can explore and pick and choose what works for you and what doesn’t. And then take those practices that work for you and continue to do them after our 12-days together.

 

Today’s Magickal Self-Care

For today, I want you to start noticing how your energy ebbs and flows throughout the day.

When you feel more governed by the masculine energy of doing and when you feel more in your feminine energy of being.

If you notice times in the day where you feel overwhelmed and frustrated the chances are your body was actually calling you into your feminine energy, into your rest energy, and you ignored it, probably because you had things to do!

I want you to start looking at ways you can nourish that feminine energy.

Just as we are governed by the ebb and flow of cycles, days go from day to night, seasons cycle through spring, summer, autumn, and winter, the tides of the oceans move in and out, your own energy naturally does the same.

The more you can work with your own ebb and flow of energy, the more you can get done and more fulfilled you will feel – filled instead of empty.

This is about becoming full of life and not being an exhausted shell of yourself.

Often people are concerned that if they stop and rest that they’ll never feel like doing any work ever again. But that just doesn’t happen. Our energies are always ebbing and flowing. There are times throughout our days, throughout a month, throughout our years, when we feel lit and ready to do more and there are times when we need to rest.

Noticing your own changes in energy is about bringing you back into connection with your own natural cycles.

No doubt you are very comfortable with the doing of the masculine energy. And I’m sure that there are lots of things you need to do today. Let the masculine energy support you do that.

Let’s also get you as skilled in working with your feminine energy.

So, let’s explore the kind of things you can do to embrace more of that feminine energy.

What’s one thing you could do today to connect you to your feminine energy?

It could include:

  • having a rest even if it’s for five minutes
  • drinking plenty of water
  • consciously choosing nourishing foods that feel good to you
  • doing something that brings you pleasure
  • focusing on something that delights your senses
  • breathing intentionally; just breathing in deeply and exhaling fully
  • dancing; any movement that wiggles your hips would be perfect
  • receive graciously; when someone gives you a compliment say ‘thank you’ and receive it

 

At the end of the day ask yourself the following questions:

When you felt your energy at the highest?
Perhaps it was in the morning, the afternoon or the evening.

When did you feel at your calmest?
Was this during a time in the day or during an activity?

Were there any points throughout the day when you felt overwhelmed or frustrated?

As I mentioned earlier, often when we feel overwhelmed it’s because we’re trying to override our feminine energy. She wants to rest, but we keep pushing on through. And of course there are times when we need to – but it should become the exception, not the rule.

Today isn’t about judging yourself. It’s about become curious.  It’s about become aware of yourself, your energy and your needs so that you can have a better more nourishing relationship with ourselves.

What we know and understand we value. The more you can get to know yourself and understand yourself, the more you will value yourself.

I’m asking you to notice your energy today. However, it would be amazing if you could do this throughout the whole 12 days. As you pay more attention to your energy, you’ll start to notice the patterns that show up for you. If you have a menstrual cycle you may notice that it links with with your menstrual cycle, if you don’t have a menstrual cycle you might notice that your energy syncs with the moon. Perhaps you notice your energy change with the seasons.

Take this opportunity to start to become curious about you about your energy and your own needs change and by the end of the 12 days you’re going to have a much deeper, better, more fulfilling and of course nourishing relationship with yourself.

Let me know how you got on with today’s mini exercise and I look forward to meeting you again tomorrow when we dive deeper into the energy of magickal self-care and start looking at your own needs.

12-Days of Magickal Self-Care

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