Welcome back to 12-days of Magickal Self-Care.

On day 2, I want to start by asking you: “what do you need?”

We often avoid asking ourselves this question because we’re afraid it will make us sound selfish, or self centred. The complete opposite of what the world teaches us to be.

We’re often praised for prioritising the needs of other people over our own needs.

Sometimes people have spent so long prioritising the needs of other people that they’ve actually forgotten what they themselves need.

So I’ll ask you again, what do you need in your life right now?

What do you need to bring yourself care and nourishment?

What is your body, mind and spirit really longing for?

Or are you like many of my clients, who have become so disconnected with themselves and their body, that they can no longer decipher the true needs?


What self-care is, really

Let’s start by breaking these patterns and look at the idea of self-care.

People often think about self-care as being mani-pedi’s, spa days, bubble baths and massages. Now of course these can be great, but we also need to go back to daily basics.

To me nourishing myself, and self-care goes right back to setting the foundations of my health and vitality…

Including, but not exclusive to:

  • Breathing deeply, and using all of my lungs, not just my upper chest.
  • Moving and stretching my body
  • Staying hydrated
  • Eating a wide range of unprocessed, and fresh, food
  • Sleeping when I need to sleep – including afternoon naps
  • Cuddling with my family
  • Building healthy relationships
  • Saying ‘no’
  • Making time for ‘yes’
  • Spending time in nature
  • Being creative
  • Reading my books
  • Being alone
  • Being around people

It would also include regular visits to my acupuncturist, but also going to the Dr’s if I was ill, or concerned about my health, and also regular health check up’s, including at the dentist and optician.

Self-care also looks like having those conversations you need to have, paying the bills, managing your time, energy and resources.

These lists may not be overly sexy, or magazine worthy, but when these are in place, I feel nourished, and I consider this sacred and magickal self-care.

The sacred is in the ordinary.


How would your life be different if…

You said a big resounding YES to yourself.

If you made yourself and your needs a priority?

If you gave yourself permission to put YOU first?

If you said YES to your interests, whims, fantasies, and desires?


Honouring your needs isn’t selfish

As cliched as it is you really do need to fill your own cup first. The flight attendants are correct when they say you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you look after other people.

You cannot give from an empty cup, so whilst it might feel selfish initially to put yourself first, think about how the quality of your relationships improves – including with yourself – when you give from a place of fullness rather than a place of emptiness, frustration and exhaustion.


Changing the pattern

You’d think it should be the most natural thing in the world to honour your needs, but how often do you ignore your intuition, or belittle your thoughts, feelings, and achievements?

How often do you base your decisions, and what you share with others, on the opinions of others, and what you think they might say to you?

Today I want you to focus on doing one of the following things to really start to strengthen your ability to honour yourself:


Listen to Your Intuition and Trust Your Instincts

Keep a note of all of the intuitive insights you have throughout the week, and any ‘gut instinct’ that you feel, and review them at the end of the day or the end of the week. What messages where they telling you, and were they accurate?


Befriend Yourself

How many times do you criticise yourself?

Each time you notice yourself being critical, rephrase your thoughts or words, to be positive about yourself.

Ask yourself if it’s really true, and think of all the times and ways your thought just isn’t true. For example, thinking: ‘you always get it wrong’ – is that really true? Have you never got anything right?

Of course you have, so start reminding yourself how these negative thoughts just aren’t true. Or at least contain it to facts.

‘You always get it wrong’ becomes ‘I made one mistake’, so now how can you rectify the mistake.


Allow Yourself to Receive

Make the conscious effort to allow people to appreciate you. If someone says, ‘Thank you’, or pays you a compliment, don’t shrug it off, or dismiss it, simply smile and say ‘Thank you’.

Ask people for small favours. If someone asks if you want a cup of tea, instead of ‘politely’ saying ‘No thank you’. Say ‘Thanks that would be great’.

If someone is going to the kitchen, ask if they could bring you back a glass of water.

Just start with small things and let your receiving muscles grow.


Say ‘Yes’ to Yourself

Everyday make time for yourself, even if it’s for a few minutes.

How can you honour your needs and desires each day, even if it’s just one thing?

Ask yourself every day ‘what do I need?

Think about something you can do for yourself and say ‘yes’ to it. Perhaps it’s to drink more water, connect with friends, go for a walk, dance to your favourite song, spend 5 minutes journaling, book that Dr’s appointment or pay that outstanding bill.


Celebrate Yourself

Each night, write down 10 things that you love and appreciate about you and your body. You can celebrate something that you’ve done well, or the way that you handled a situation, or simply appreciate your body for getting through another day.

Now of course we want to celebrate those people around us and show gratitude for support, circumstances and situations we find ourselves in. But just for a few minutes, give yourself permission to celebrate yourself and really allow yourself to receive that recognition.


What will you choose for yourself today?

Don’t forget to come and let us know what you’re focusing on over in our community.

And I’ll see you tomorrow for day-3 where we’ll look at what you can do in your home to support you to feel safe, so that you can build a self-care routine that does the same.


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