Creating a Manifestation Routine: Daily Practices for Attracting Your Dreams and Desires

Creating a Manifestation Routine: Daily Practices for Attracting Your Dreams and Desires

Most people know how to set their intentions, but how do you bridge the gap between setting those intentions and actually enjoying the them coming into reality?

We know we should ‘surrender’ and not grasp them too tightly, but surely we still have to do something…

Once you’ve done the practical actions you need to take, here’s some ideas for you to stay aligned with your intentions, to hold the vision and keep any doubts at bay!

You don’t need to do all of them! Just pick and choose 1 or 2 ideas to experiment with and have fun!


1. Morning Magick – Setting the Stage

Awaken with purpose, as the dawn brings a fresh canvas for your aspirations:

Dawn Declarations
Whisper your desires to the golden sunrise.

For instance, greet the day by saying, “Today, every step brings me closer to [your dream, e.g., ‘my dream job’].”

Let the warming rays imbue your intentions with life.

Crystal Clarity:
Hold a clear quartz, renowned for magnifying intentions.

Envision your goal, perhaps a serene holiday or a cozy home, and let the crystal become a beacon for that aspiration.

Wear it as a pendant or keep it in your pocket, making it your day-long ally.


2. Daytime Delights – Maintaining the Momentum

Transform mundane moments into magickal milestones:

Mindful Movements
With every action, channel purpose.

For example, if you’re making lunch, visualise nourishing not just your body, but your dreams.

Ponder, “How does this fuel my journey towards [e.g., ‘completing my book’]?

Vibrant Visualisation
Find a quiet moment, even if it’s a five-minute break, to visualise your dream as a present reality.

Feel the joy of holding your published book or the thrill of standing in your new office.


3. Evening Enchantments – Reflect and Recharge

As nightfall cloaks the world, embrace reflection and renewal:

Moonlit Meditations
As stars twinkle, sit in a peaceful spot.

Reflect on the day’s successes, however small, and visualise your dreams intertwining with the constellations.

Gratitude Grimoire
Curate a special journal.

Before sleep, record three instances or moments that sparked gratitude.

Maybe a stranger’s smile or a task accomplished – these daily treasures uplift your spirit.


4. Celestial Celebrations – Weekly Wonders

Sacred Sundays
Reserve a slice of Sunday for spiritual rejuvenation.

This could be creating a sacred tool, painting your goals, or even a tranquil walk amidst nature, seeking the universe’s whispers.

Waxing and Waning Wishes
The moon’s phases are potent allies.

On a New Moon, jot down burgeoning desires.

Come the Full Moon, release doubts into the night, trusting the universe’s embrace.


5. Elemental Extras – A Touch of the Ethereal

Herbal Harmonies
Elevate your environment with aromatic herbs.

Burn rosemary or sage to cleanse spaces of negativity or sprinkle lavender on your bed for dream-filled slumbers.

Talismanic Tunes
Melodies can be manifestations.

Curate a playlist of uplifting songs.

Whether it’s invigorating beats or the calming chords, let these rhythms resonate with your dreams.


Remember that the universe is a tapestry of limitless potential, with your aspirations as the gleaming threads.

By embedding these practices into your life’s fabric, you’re crafting a luminous future, thread by enchanted thread.

So, with heart and spirit attuned, step forth; the universe’s magick awaits your wondrous dance! 🌌🌠🔮

Next Steps

If you’d like easy access to more inspiration and reminders like this:

The Pinch of Magick app

Making Every Day More Magickal

Step into the realm of the extraordinary with ‘A Pinch of Magick’, your pocket-sized portal to enchantment.

Download ‘A Pinch of Magick’ and conjure up some enchantment  on your phone today.

A journal to add intention to your everyday


Five Minutes of Magick: A Daily Diary of Enchantment
Infuse every day with a touch of magick!
This daily diary is designed to help you capture and cultivate magickal moments throughout your day. In just five minutes, you can deepen your connection with the unseen, enhance your intuitive abilities, and bring more enchantment into your life.

The Compass of Conscious Intent: Mastering the Art of Mindful Magick

The Compass of Conscious Intent: Mastering the Art of Mindful Magick

Delving into the labyrinth of self-discovery and magick, we’ve uncovered the radiant jewel of self-knowledge, understood the significance of energetic boundaries, and unearthed our personal power.

As we step further into our magickal odyssey, we find ourselves at the heart of one of the most potent forces within our mystical toolbox – our intentions.

The Power of Intention in Magick

Like the invisible hand that guides the divining rod towards the hidden spring, our intention steers the course of our magick. It’s our soul’s whisper, a beacon of inner yearning that directs the energy we conjure, shaping its path, and deciding its destination.

Becoming Intentional

Becoming intentional in our magick means crafting and clarifying our inner desires into a focused directive. It’s about weaving our will into a purposeful tapestry that serves as the magickal map for the energy we release into the universe.

Sculpting Clear Intentions

Consider your intentions as the sculptor’s chisel that shapes your raw energy into a form that reflects your deepest desires.

Spend time in quiet contemplation, seeking clarity on what you wish to manifest.

Write these intentions down, let them take shape, refining them until they become a clear and resolute expression of your desire.

Aligning Your Intentions

An intention is most powerful when it is in alignment with your innermost self – when it resonates with your soul’s melody.

Ensure your intentions echo the rhythm of your authentic needs and desires.

Stay true to your core values and aspirations, and your intentions will resonate with a profound, unmistakable truth.

Using Intentions to Guide Your Magick

Your intentions are not only the blueprint for your magick but also the compass guiding your practice.

By setting clear and aligned intentions, you give purpose and direction to your rituals, spells, and manifestations.

Your intentions become the lens through which you view and engage with your magick.

Steering Your Magickal Journey

In the grand voyage of magick and self-discovery, our intentions serve as the steering wheel, allowing us to navigate our course with assurance and precision.

With every clear, aligned intention, we not only direct our magickal energy but also shape our journey, steering it towards the fulfillment of our deepest desires.

The Dance Continues

As we continue to unravel the enchanting tapestry of magick, let us remember the power that lies within our intentions.

This dance with intentionality, an ongoing waltz, is not merely a step but a leap in our magickal journey.

It not only guides our practice but gives voice to our innermost yearnings, paving the way towards a life that resonates with our authentic self.


So, raise your chalices high to the dance of intentionality, to the art of being mindful in our magick, and to the enchanting symphony of our desires coming to fruition.

The dance continues, and with every step, we become more attuned to the magick within us and around us.

Here’s to the journey and the magick we manifest!



The Magick Within

Unearthing Your Inner Power and Wisdom

Uncover secrets of self-discovery, personal growth, and learn how to unlock and harness your unique magick with this special series of podcasts.


What the evolution of personal development can teach us about what’s next for your mind, body and spirit?

What the evolution of personal development can teach us about what’s next for your mind, body and spirit?

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how much (and fast) the world around us is changing?

It’s like we’re living in a sci-fi movie, but without the cool outfits and flying cars (yet!).

As the world around us shifts and evolves, so do our individual experiences and perspectives.

It’s important to take stock of our own journey and reflect on how it aligns with the broader shifts happening in the world.

By looking back at the past and examining the evolution of personal growth, we can gain insight into the potential direction of the next 30 years.

Join me on a whistlestop tour of personal development through the decades, as we explore the connection between societal shifts and our own evolution and what the past can teach us about what’s coming next.

Together, we can navigate the changes ahead with more grace and purpose, rather than feeling we’re at the mercy of the ever-increasing speed of the changes around us.


If I’m honest, sometimes I can get a bit jaded about the whole personal development ‘thing’ – it can feel exhausting or overdone.

Feeling the need to evaluate everything, thinking there’s something always ‘wrong’ with you, or that you need to be fixed.

Because let’s face it:

  • Sometimes watching TV is just wanting to relax or be entertained, not because you’re avoiding responsibilities.
  • Sometimes buying expensive clothes is because you like the way they look and not because you’re trying to impress anyone.
  • Sometimes you’re staying up late just because you want to enjoy some quiet time and not because you’re unable to maintain a regular sleep schedule.
  • Sometimes you’re having a glass of wine (or two) just because you like the taste and not because you’re trying to numb your emotions.
  • Sometimes you’re eating a donut just because you want to eat a donut and not because you’re filled with self-loathing or are unable to control your impulses.

I’ve resisted even claiming, or admitting, that this is the field of work that I’m in.

Even though I’ve written not one, not two, but THREE books on how to live a more aligned life! If that’s not personal development… then what is!?



This all got me thinking about the evolution of the self-development industry, and how it’s pretty much been one generation rebelling against the values of their parents and/or society.

And rebelling and breaking free of how it’s been done, is how we’ve always evolved.

The 60’s and the ‘hippy’ free-love movement rebelling against the idea of the 1950’s housewife.

The developing idea of the ‘self’ of the 70’s taken to its extreme with consumerism and the ‘Yuppies’ of the 80’s.

And then the 90’s tempering that extreme with its focus on becoming more emotionally aware and concerned about others – rather than just ourselves.

Of course these are horribly over simplified observations, but those patterns were there whether you bought into them or not.


A reminder

And this reminded me why I actually do love personal development, not as a tool to ‘fix’ yourself (thanks ‘work hard’ 80’s influence), but as a tool of discovery and awareness.

A tool to get clear on who you are, to understand what’s important to you in terms of values etc and how you want to contribute to the world around you. Then from that clear and grounded place, you can take a stand for those things and not just get swept along by whatever the popular ‘group think’ of the moment is.


Where it all began (for me…)

When I was 16, way back in the 90’s, I started reading a book called ‘Teach Yourself Yoga’. That small book, started what I now know as my journey into this weird and wonderful world of personal development.

Back then I had been searching for something, although I didn’t know what and I certainly didn’t have the language to describe it, I somehow came across this book.

I grew up in a small fishing village, way before the days of Amazon next day delivery, but somehow this book ‘found’ me and was my first gateway into a new way of seeing and being in the world.

Growing up in the 90’s immersed in ‘Girl Power’, Grunge music, and a sprinkling of some upbeat BritPop had more effect on me than I realised.

I think many generations think they’re the ones that are going to ‘save the world’, I was no different, feeling that we’d herald in a new one with changes in tech and systems in society. But now, older and possibly wiser, I feel that we, as a collective, rather than one generation, really are ready to change the world, and this is most definitely reflected in the current transits in astrology with Pluto starting its transition into Aquarius, where it will stay until 2043, I think this is that time!

Little did the 16 year old me know what a Pandora’s box of curios and ‘worlds’ that one book would open for me and how different it would be from the world of the family I was born into.

I think we can learn so much about ourselves when we look backwards. Not to dwell in the past, but to notice the patterns and untangle their grip on us, so that we can move forward with wisdom rather than baggage.

There is so much to be learnt from the past, yet we often like to rush forward embracing the next shiny, new object, often thinking ‘new’ means better. And of course sometimes it does, and other times maybe not so much… (Who remembers the fleeting life of mini-discs!?)

Whether we’ve consciously chosen to explore our own self-development or not, changes in society will have shaped you, your beliefs and your experience of the world.

My own personal development journey has changed as I’ve changed. As I’ve learnt more about myself, my interests and life, and of course as the world around me has changed, but it’s always been rooted in personal power and celebrating your individuality – thanks to the 90’s and my Aquarius Sun lol.


And where it all began for us…

So let’s take a look at how Western society has also been on its own self development journey and how it could’ve influenced you, or your parents, and where we might be heading….

Each decade has shaped the next, with an emergence of new ideas, breakthroughs and methods in the ever-expanding field of personal development, body, mind and spirit.

These changes have influenced cultural attitudes and values, changing everything from how we view health to how we define success in our own lives.

The 1960’s

Get High on Life!

The Rise of Self-Discovery, Mind Expansion, and Civil Rights

Psychoanalysis and psychedelics became more widely used in the 1960s, and people became increasingly curious about exploring consciousness and the nature of the self. 

A counterculture movement grew up, which rejected the values of mainstream culture and encouraged people to try out new ideas and different ways of living.

Events that shaped personal development:

  • The Civil Rights Act of 1964 in the US, outlawed discrimination based on race, colour, religion, sex, or national origin, and contributed to a more tolerant cultural attitude.
  • The publication of Timothy Leary’s “The Psychedelic Experience,” which popularised the use of psychedelic drugs for spiritual exploration and self-discovery.
  • The publication of R.D. Laing’s “The Divided Self,” which helped popularise anti-psychiatry and contributed to a growing interest in psychoanalysis and self-discovery.
  • The formation of the Beatles, which brought a new wave of music, fashion, and youth culture to the UK and helped contribute to a more liberal and tolerant cultural attitude.

The 1970’s

Unleash Your Inner Potential!

The Human Potential Movement, Feminism, and New Age Spirituality

The human potential movement, which promoted personal development and fulfilment, emerged in the 1970s. This led to a move toward a more individualistic philosophy with a focus on freedom of choice and expression.

People realised they had a ‘self’ and their experiences were valid. This brought about the rise in therapy as we know it today.

Also during this time, the feminist movement gained greater traction. It always shocks me that here in the UK, it wasn’t until 1975 that women could open a bank account in their own name! That was only a few years before I was born.

Events that shaped personal development:

  • The publication of Abraham Maslow’s “Toward a Psychology of Being,” which contributed to the rise of the human potential movement and the emphasis on self-actualisation.
  • The publication of “The Secret Life of Plants,” which helped popularise the idea of plant consciousness and alternative spirituality.
  • The founding of the Ms. Foundation for Women, which promoted gender equality and women’s empowerment.
  • The rise of the punk movement in the UK, which rejected mainstream cultural values and encouraged individualism and self-expression.

The 1980’s

Think Positive and Get Rich!

The Business, Fitness, and Positive Thinking Craze

The 1980’s saw a rise in materialism and consumerism, it became very much about the individual with the backdrop of blockbuster films such as Wall Street; ‘greed is good’ – Gordon Gekko.

Self-help books and tv shows aimed to show individuals how to improve themselves, and their financial and professional lives.

Aerobics and other exercise fads helped create a focus on physical health and fitness.

Self-help ‘gurus’ like Tony Robbins, popularised positive thinking and the law of attraction.

Events that shaped personal development:

  • The rise of conservative political figures such as Reagan and Thatcher emphasised individualism, hard work, and success.
  • The publication of John Naisbitt’s “Megatrends,” predicted the rise of a service-oriented, information-based society and contributed to the focus on business and financial success.
  • The popularity of Jane Fonda’s workout videos started to shape a culture with a focus on physical fitness and wellness.
  • The AIDS epidemic brought a greater awareness of sexual health and the importance of mental and emotional wellbeing.

The 1990’s

Your Body Speaks Your Mind!

A Revolution in Personal Development.

The 1990s saw a trend towards emotional intelligence, emphasising the value of recognising and controlling your feelings.

Mind-body practices such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, and tai chi became increasingly popular—”hello,” my ‘Teach Yourself Yoga Book!”—and researchers began paying more attention to the relationship between the mind, emotions, and the rest of the body.

Events that shaped personal development:

  • The publication of Daniel Goleman’s “Emotional Intelligence,” helped popularise the concept of emotional intelligence and its importance in personal and professional success.
  • The popularity of Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now,” focused on mindfulness and the mind-body connection.
  • The Americans with Disabilities Act in 1990, which helped promote diversity and inclusion in the workplace and other areas of society.
  • The emergence of Britpop in the UK, which represented a rebellion against cultural and musical norms of the time, and reflected a desire for change.

The 2000’s

I Am the Brand!

Navigating Personal Development in the Growing Digital Age.

In the 2000s, personal branding became more popular as social media grew and people began to curate their online presence.

The idea of being able to live a more balanced lifestyle, which included more time for rest and rejuvenation, and the idea of self-care, became increasingly popular.

Novels and shows that had themes of resiliency and triumphing over hardship also became more popular during this time.

Events that shaped personal development:

  • The rise of social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter, promoted the idea of personal branding as people curated their personal digital presence.
  • The publication of Arianna Huffington’s “Thrive” which wanted to redefine success by exploring the importance of work-life balance and self-care.
  • The global financial crisis meant people focused on financial stability and the importance of work-life balance.
  • The establishment of the European Social Charter in 2000, which helped promote social justice and the importance of human rights.

The 2010’s

“I Saw That”- Karma

Personal Development in the Age of Authenticity.

In the 2000s, personal branding became more popular as social media grew and people began to curate their online presence.

The idea of being able to live a more balanced lifestyle, which included more time for rest and rejuvenation, and the idea of self-care, became increasingly popular.

Novels and shows that had themes of resiliency and triumphing over hardship also became more popular during this time.

Events that shaped personal development:

  • The rise of social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter, promoted the idea of personal branding as people curated their personal digital presence.
  • The publication of Arianna Huffington’s “Thrive” which wanted to redefine success by exploring the importance of work-life balance and self-care.
  • The global financial crisis meant people focused on financial stability and the importance of work-life balance.
  • The establishment of the European Social Charter in 2000, which helped promote social justice and the importance of human rights.

The Lessons Learnt

As I mentioned earlier, there’s a lot of wisdom that can be gained by taking a moment to look backwards.

Here’s what we can learn from the evolution of personal development:

  • The 60’s remind us to expand our awareness and challenge the status quo.
  • The 70’s gave us personal development as we know it today and emphasised the importance of free expression.
  • The 80’s showed us the importance of creating a healthy balance in both our personal and professional lives.
  • The 90’s affirmed that the mind and body work together; we can’t treat one without the other.
  • The 00’s taught us resiliency in a fast-changing world.
  • The 10’s highlighted the importance of mindfulness and social responsibility.

We’ve moved from being self-aware about how others have treated us to being self-obsessed and wanting to just look out for ourselves.

To being self-aware about how others have treated us and wanting to take responsibility for ourselves and become resilient.

To becoming resilient and knowing that whilst we and our experiences matter, so do other people and their experiences, and those of our communities too.

This is a natural evolution that could only have happened with each stage of growth.

Just like the natural progression from a toddler’s ‘selfish’ ‘mine’ and ‘no’ as it realises that it’s an individual who can influence the world around it. To a healthy adult taking personal responsibility and responsibility for how they show up and contribute to the world around them.

What’s next for your body, mind and soul…

As we continue to move through the 2020s and into the 2030s, these events and movements from the past will continue to shape our cultural attitudes and values towards personal development.

We can pretend we don’t live in an ever-changing and evolving world, or we can create the change consciously and intentionally and not just get swept along trying to hold onto things that are familiar to us.

I believe the more we can ‘develop’ ourselves so that we know ourselves deeply, not only will we navigate these changes with greater ease, we’ll also be able to contribute to them and shape them in a really meaningful and constructive way.

And I think the main areas of focus over the coming years will be:

  • mental health,
  • resilience,
  • digital wellbeing and health,
  • social justice and activism,
  • sustainability.

And as we continue to evolve, there will be a growing interest in, and need for, a focus on:

Spiritual health
To support you find, and embody, your purpose, and experience fulfilment in everyday life.

Energetic health
To keep your own energy running freely, so that you don’t pick up, or aren’t unduly, influenced by other people and their energy.

Psychic health
To protect yourself from the awakening (and unrefined) energies of others as they begin to explore their spiritual and energetic selves.

And we will develop these areas through community and connection – “Hello again!’ Pluto transiting through Aquarius.

Next steps..

You may enjoy these courses


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How to know if your dreams and desires are truly your own (Without getting lost in overthinking)

How to know if your dreams and desires are truly your own (Without getting lost in overthinking)

Are your dreams and desires your own?

In a world that loves to tell us what to do, how to behave and dictate what success looks like, it can be tricky to untangle our own dreams and desires from the expectations of those around us.

Whether it’s becoming a successful entrepreneur, travelling the world, or fully owning your power and magick, we all have something that we want to explore and move towards.

But have you ever stopped to wonder if the dreams you’re pursuing are truly your own, or if they’re influenced by the expectations of others?

If so, you’re not alone. Most of my clients, at one time or another, have doubted themselves and their dreams.

And many have realised that they’re not even pursuing what they wanted, they woke up one day and asked ‘How did I get here?’

They had become successful in the ‘wrong’ thing.


The energy doesn’t lie

You can only be enthusiastic for your own dreams and desires.

The word ‘enthusiasm’ comes from the Greek enthousiasmos, meaning “inspiration or possession by a god.” You can not be inspired by ‘a god’ with someone else’s version of a dream or a desire.

If you find yourself feeling that you can’t be bothered, or putting off pursuing a dream, you’re likely trying to force yourself to follow what you think you should be doing, rather than doing what your heart truly desires.


Reconnecting your your own dreams and desires in 3 steps

Here’s three ways to help you start to untangle from ‘should’s’ and expectations and gain clarity on whether your dreams are truly your own or if they’re based on the expectations of others.


1. Reflect on your motivations…and try not to have an existential crisis.

A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology in 2010 found that people who pursue their own authentic dreams and desires are more likely to experience positive emotions, life satisfaction, and meaning in life.

On the other hand, people who pursue things based on the expectations of others tend to experience more negative emotions and a lower sense of well-being (Sheldon & Kasser, 2010).

So, take a deep breath, and spend some time exploring your motivations behind your dreams and desires.

Are you pursuing them because you want to, or because you think it will please other people?

Listen to this podcast episode to dive deeper into what happened when I followed someone else’s ideas of what I should do, and how I found my way back.

2. Consider your values…but don’t (overly) rely on the fortune cookies.

In 2008, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that when people pursue activities that are aligned with their values, interests and desires they’re much more likely to experience a deeper sense of well-being and overall satisfaction on their life.

Having external guidance such as reading the tarot, knowing your astrology and personality profiles, or even asking a fortune cookie, can all give you valuable insight into who you are and what your gifts are, but remember this is just guidance, you get to decide what truly matters to you.


3. Pay attention to your emotions…even if it means ugly crying.

Studies have shown that people who pursue their own dreams and desires experience more positive emotions than those who pursue things based on external pressures or expectations.

Positive emotions aren’t inherently good or bad, but they are authentic to you. And when you can be authentic – even if it means ugly crying – you reinforce to yourself that your experience and needs matter.

We can give a lot of power to our emotions and and many have been demonised as bad or to be avoided, but emotions are just signposts telling you if you’re on track and aligned with what really matters to you or not.

If something you do generates a feeling you enjoy, the chances are you’re on track and aligned with your purpose.

But if it feels uncomfortable, ask yourself what is it about your situation or activity that doesn’t align with your values or what you want in life.

Paying attention to your emotions gives you great information in knowing if your dreams and desires are truly your own.

Following your own dreams and desires, that align with your values and interests, is crucial for well-being, satisfaction, and success.

Give yourself permission to unapologetically follow your dreams, and remember to have a little fun along the way. After all, whilst this is important work, life is too short to take everything too seriously.

And if you want some support connecting with your own dreams and desires and untangling from the judgements and ‘should’s’ of others, come and join us for: REJUVENATE YOUR ENERGY: It’s time to say ‘yes’ to your own dreams and desires. Learn more here

Why we stop expressing ourselves fully (and what we can do about it)

Why we stop expressing ourselves fully (and what we can do about it)

We’re all born knowing what we want and need

We’re born knowing how to express ourselves fully.

We cry, laugh and demand to have our needs met, and we do so without a hint of apology.

As we begin to get older we sing loudly, dance wildly and express ourselves fully with sheer delight and force of a young child.

And then…

And then… we begin to learn that when we modify our behaviour, tone down our biggest emotions and desires, we are ‘loved’ more.

It’s not really love, it’s positive attention (or at least not a negative ‘will you just be quiet/sit still/read your book for 5 minutes so I can have some peace”) – but your little heart doesn’t know the difference.

We learn that when we put the needs of other’s before ourselves we get praised (or at least avoid being told off).

We become the good girl, mummy’s little angel/helper.

We’re no longer scolded or told to be quiet.

We don’t have to witness the frustration in our parents or caregivers faces when we want to do one more passion filled song or routine for them.

We learn we’re too much

And just like that we learn that our unapologetic self and our wild edges are too much.

That the big emotions and bigger passion are not always welcomed, accepted or even appreciated.

We learn that we’re not good enough as we are and that if we want to be accepted we must sing a little less loudly, dance a little less wildly, and supress our own inner urges and desires if we want to ‘fit in’.

Slowly eroding our own power

This doesn’t happen over night, it’s a steady drip, drip, drip over time.

It happens so slowly that you might not even notice it.

That brave, passionate and unapologetic child becomes the adult with poor boundaries, the people pleaser, the over-giver or the over-achiever.

Until we become a shell of ourselves

The person who has lost connection with her own dreams and desires and moves through life a shell of her potential. Feeling overwhelmed, lost and frustrated and not even knowing why.

Here’s how to reclaim the power you’ve habitually given away

If you’d like to begin to reclaim that wild force of nature within you, check out The Summoning: The 7-Ways to Reclaim Your Power and Magick 


If you’d like to reclaim your power and magick you need the free resource The Summoning: 7 ways to summon your power and magick back into your everyday experience

How to Stop Giving Your Power Away

How to Stop Giving Your Power Away

16 How to stop giving your power away blog

“Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something. It is the vital energy to make choices and decisions. It also includes the capacity to overcome deeply embedded habits and to cultivate higher, more effective ones.”

— Stephen R. Covey


How do you view power?

Many of my clients want to ‘own their power’, and yet they have a distorted relationship with power itself.

When they think about their own power, they know it’s an important part of themselves. They also recognise that they’ve given it away, as they feel disempowered. Others feel that their power has been taken away from them, leaving them vulnerable and powerless.

These people want to feel ‘empowered’, but they don’t always know what empowerment would look like. All of their previous experiences with power have been situations where someone or something had dominance over them.

Those experiences involved a power ‘over’ something or someone else, rather than a power from within. And because they don’t want to be like the powerful people they’ve encountered before, my clients all-too-often shy away from empowering themselves.

It’s easy to understand their concerns.

We’re all surrounded by people and systems that misuse power. We see it in unhealthy relationships, corporations and systems of government that can all take advantage of people, and prioritise using their power to look after their own interests, regardless of the cost, emotionally, physically or financially, to others. No wonder we often view power with suspicion or see it as something negative. More than one person has told me that they’re afraid of ‘stepping into their power’ because they don’t want to hurt others.

Yet the only way we can become fully expressed is to reconcile our relationship with power – and in particular, with our own personal power.


What is personal power?

Personal power isn’t about money, status or influence over others.

Instead, it’s about your relationship with yourself – your own self-awareness and inner authority. It’s about being confident in who you are and what’s important to you.

Without this kind of relationship with your personal power, you’re more easily affected by the expectations and judgements of other people, and of your culture and your society.

By contrast, somebody who has a healthy relationship with their own personal power is generally:

  • confident in themselves and their choices
  • comfortable in their own body
  • emotionally intelligent
  • grounded and present to themselves and others
  • responsible for themselves and their actions
  • responsive rather than reactive


Notice what disempowers you

We’re energetic beings.

Everything is an exchange of energy, and this energy fuels our personal power.

Think about the language people use when they’re not feeling great:

  • “I’m drained”
  • “I’m overwhelmed”
  • “I’m exhausted”
  • “I’m running on empty”
  • “I’m burnt out”

It’s the language of energy and power.

When was the first time you remember feeling power leave your body?

Perhaps it was when you were embarrassed, felt shame, wanted to hide or made a mistake?

Perhaps it was a time when you betrayed yourself and what was important to you. Maybe you didn’t speak up, or you did something that was expected of you when you didn’t want to do it.

Maybe you feel it every time you people-please or prioritise other people’s comfort over your own truth.

Regardless, it makes sense that when power leaves your body, you feel dis-empowered.

For example, someone might casually comment, “I don’t like that top on you.” If this bothers you, it will drain your power.

And if you start noticing where you’re losing your power, you’ll actually feel it leaving your body.

To stop that loss of power, you need to begin to confront the issues that drain you.

This is your journey to empowerment.


Sometimes, power drains hide in unexpected places

Now don’t get me wrong – not every ‘drain’ is due to a loss of personal power. Sometimes you might just be ‘drained’ because you need a good night’s sleep.

But before you assume there’s no connection with power, ask yourself why you need a good night’s sleep.

What’s keeping you up at night?

If you just had a one-off bad night, perhaps there’s nothing to pay extra attention to.

But if it’s a regular occurrence, then something’s out of balance for you.

Maybe you’re regularly going to bed too late. Maybe a frustrating or worrying situation in your life keeps you tossing and turning. Perhaps you’re getting up early because a ‘productivity guru’ tells you it’s better, when your body’s authentic truth is that you’re a night owl.

It can be difficult to identify – let alone release – habits, beliefs and even people that drain your energy, leaving you dis-empowered. Some of these patterns can be deeply woven into your identity, and your personal, family and cultural stories.

So the first step is to notice what, or who, leaves you feeling drained. What is it about the pattern or interaction that dis-empowers you?


Taking back your power

Once you’ve identified what’s draining your power, the next question is what you can do to prevent yourself feeling this way. Here are a few options to consider:

  • Start by listening to any intuitive nudges you receive and then acting on them. No more ignoring them, or ‘pretending’ you’re not sure what they mean.
  • Give yourself permission to do more of the things that make you feel like you – and then DO them. That may mean less people-pleasing and doing things out of obligation or expectation.
  • Get to learn what you do and don’t like. We can be so conditioned to be a particular way that we can lose touch with what makes us feel like ourselves. Experiment, try new things, revisit things you loved as a child. Be curious as to what makes you feel more like you again.
  • Begin to question yourself every time you realise you’ve said something mean to yourself by simply asking, “Is that true?” Chances are that it’s not. Maybe you’re just tired, hungry or feeling emotional. If so, address the real issue, and change your self-talk to be more supportive.
  • Set boundaries and enforce them, especially with yourself. In particular, use boundaries to break unsupportive, impulsive habits that may make you feel better in the moment, but that your future self won’t thank you for.
  • Don’t get caught in the trap of trying to prove yourself or prove other people wrong. We can often do this when we feel vulnerable or misunderstood and it’s rooted in a lack of self-worth. Instead, become more accepting of yourself and your choices, so that you begin to trust your experience and become more confident in yourself.
  • Don’t look to others to validate you. Instead, know that you’re enough and your choices are yours to make.
  • By the same token, take responsibility for yourself and your own emotions. Let other people take responsibility for theirs, remembering that you don’t need to ‘fix’ them or make anything better for them.
  • Support other people – start by giving genuine compliments. Having enough personal power of your own to empower other people is a great thing. It increases your sense of self-esteem and empowers other people too.

All of these seemingly small actions may feel uncomfortable at first, but they’ll make it less easy for your own behaviours – not to mention other people, events or circumstances – to drain you.

You’ll start to feel more confident. You’ll also notice when your energy and power begin to leave your body, so you can take action to prevent it.

16 How to stop giving your power away pinterest